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Geek Culture / post your best momma jokes here

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whipped6
18
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Joined: 31st Aug 2006
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Posted: 26th Sep 2006 03:57
Hello im going to make momma joke2 it will be a text programm with alot of momma jokes so feel free to post your best momma jokes here...

game creator
Zotoaster
19
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Joined: 20th Dec 2004
Location: Scotland
Posted: 26th Sep 2006 19:37
Your momma's so fat she sits to my left, and my right in class.

Oh, this is a 'post your best momma jokes' thread? What a coincidence.

Sven B
19
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Joined: 5th Jan 2005
Location: Belgium
Posted: 26th Sep 2006 20:05
Your momma is so fat she falls out of her bed... on both sides.

Or how about
Your momma is so fat she can surf on her own fat.

or
your momma is so dumb, she didn't teach you how to use google.

Ok, that sounded harsh... It's a (less) kind of way telling you that google is your friend.

It's the programmer's life:
Have a problem, solve the problem, and have a new problem to solve.
Lucifer
18
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Joined: 26th Dec 2005
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Posted: 26th Sep 2006 20:13
your moma is so fat that when she jumps she gets stuck

Tíhí..
Soroki
18
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Joined: 26th Jan 2006
Location: United States
Posted: 26th Sep 2006 20:26 Edited at: 26th Sep 2006 20:26
Yo momma's so small she jumped off a penny and said "weeee!"

...Okay, mine is dumb. I tried...momma jokes aren't my strong point. I tend to aviod them because they're old and no one takes offense at them anymore.

Downfall:Arena by Terra Design Studios(TDS) is currently in development. Features full online or AI multiplayer maps, with 35 online maps and 15 AI maps. Demo release date will be somtime in October.
The Wilderbeast
19
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Joined: 14th Nov 2005
Location: UK
Posted: 26th Sep 2006 21:13
as some freek in my class puts it... 'whatever...your mum works at mcdonalds on minimum wage' ... a great comeback

Soroki
18
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Joined: 26th Jan 2006
Location: United States
Posted: 26th Sep 2006 22:11
Yeah, momma jokes just aren't funny anymore. Maybe its a maturity thing. At 16 nothing that used to be funny is funny any more.

Downfall:Arena by Terra Design Studios(TDS) is currently in development. Features full online or AI multiplayer maps, with 35 online maps and 15 AI maps. Demo release date will be somtime in October.
whipped6
18
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Joined: 31st Aug 2006
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Posted: 27th Sep 2006 02:05
lol thank you for all those momma jokes

game creator
Zotoaster
19
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Joined: 20th Dec 2004
Location: Scotland
Posted: 27th Sep 2006 02:39
Yo mamma's fat.

DB newbie
19
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Joined: 13th Nov 2005
Location: um..... i dont remember.
Posted: 27th Sep 2006 03:02
yo mammas so fat..she has to take a frieght train to work.


what now..what now... lol jk

<img src="http://www.boomspeed.com/egraphics/75as4.gif" border="0" title="Adopt_one_today_from_pickle-green.com/egraphics!">
smoked
19
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Joined: 2nd Oct 2005
Location: USA - california
Posted: 27th Sep 2006 03:51
your momma is so fat the back of her neck looks like a pack of hotdogs... btw are you going on that tv show or something?

Kentaree
22
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Joined: 5th Oct 2002
Location: Clonmel, Ireland
Posted: 27th Sep 2006 11:53
Your momma's so fat she needs planning permission to sit down

Profit
18
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Joined: 19th Feb 2006
Location: United States
Posted: 28th Sep 2006 00:54
Jo momma's so fat, she wore a yellow rain coat and someone yelled TAXI!

common people are walking in line.

Mitsu Fly Ride.
RUCCUS
19
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Joined: 11th Dec 2004
Location: Canada
Posted: 28th Sep 2006 04:40
Your momma's such a dork, she had a kid that made a dorky post about your momma jokes in a game developer forum.

Your signature has been erased by a mod because it's larger than 600x120...
Sixty Squares
18
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Joined: 7th Jun 2006
Location: Somewhere in the world
Posted: 28th Sep 2006 04:47 Edited at: 28th Sep 2006 04:51
@RUCCUS: Ouch.

yo momma's so fat that her bath is the pacific ocean.

yo momma's so ugly that the dog wouldn't even lick her face.

yo momma's so fat that when she moves you've gotta rebuild your house.

yo momma's so fat that she's her own neighbor.

yo momma's so fat that every end is her shallow end.

Made those up just now. Possible more to come later in another post here

Ummm...
Cash Curtis II
19
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Joined: 8th Apr 2005
Location: Corpus Christi Texas
Posted: 28th Sep 2006 10:42
@RUCCUS -
You beat me to it


Come see the WIP!
Code Dragon
18
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Joined: 21st Aug 2006
Location: Everywhere
Posted: 29th Sep 2006 01:20
yo momma's so fat no matter where she stands she's touching something.

yo momma's so dumb she tried to put m&m's in alphabetical order.

Confucius Say...Programmer who makes genetic programming system loses job
Profit
18
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Joined: 19th Feb 2006
Location: United States
Posted: 29th Sep 2006 02:07
Jo momma is so fat that RUCCUS is easily the most mature person here.

common people are walking in line.

Mitsu Fly Ride.
The Wilderbeast
19
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Joined: 14th Nov 2005
Location: UK
Posted: 29th Sep 2006 19:46
whipped6
18
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Joined: 31st Aug 2006
Location:
Posted: 30th Sep 2006 03:19
RUCCUS its for a programm get over it... u dont know how to programm...

game creator
Gamedesign er20
18
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Joined: 30th Jun 2006
Location: The one place you would never look...
Posted: 30th Sep 2006 03:20
yo momma's so dumb she sold her car for gas money.

Cocacola and Pepsi aren't that differnt. Deal with it.
Profit
18
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Joined: 19th Feb 2006
Location: United States
Posted: 30th Sep 2006 07:04
whipped6, I can't really say that I agree with your last point. RUCCUS has shown us time and time again that he is fully capable of writing some elegant code.

common people are walking in line.

Mitsu Fly Ride.
RUCCUS
19
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Joined: 11th Dec 2004
Location: Canada
Posted: 30th Sep 2006 07:31
Ok... whipped where'd that come from? You came on IRC one night and started asking a billion questions, we all provided the simplest answers for you, we even supplied you with the entire code, and you still came back time and time again somehow messing up. (Not to mention you've made like 8 posts about making a 2d chess game, all of which could'be been put into 1 post, ALL of which could have been answered with some searching). Right.

Your signature has been erased by a mod because it's larger than 600x120...
Cash Curtis II
19
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Joined: 8th Apr 2005
Location: Corpus Christi Texas
Posted: 30th Sep 2006 09:14
RUCCUS has mad skills. Saying he doesn't is just pointless and dumb.


Come see the WIP!
Sixty Squares
18
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Joined: 7th Jun 2006
Location: Somewhere in the world
Posted: 30th Sep 2006 14:11
Quote: "RUCCUS has mad skills"


lol

Ummm...
Gamedesign er20
18
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Joined: 30th Jun 2006
Location: The one place you would never look...
Posted: 30th Sep 2006 21:29
Yo mama so poor when I ring the doorbell she says,"DING!"

Yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes!

Yo mama so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.

Yo mama so nasty I called her to say hello, and she ended up giving me an ear infection.

Yo mama so fat when she steps on a scale, it reads "one at a time, please"

Cocacola and Pepsi aren't that differnt. Deal with it.
Zotoaster
19
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Joined: 20th Dec 2004
Location: Scotland
Posted: 1st Oct 2006 03:01
LMfAO!

Agent Dink
20
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Joined: 30th Mar 2004
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Posted: 1st Oct 2006 04:26
Google Mama jokes, you'll find sites with tons of them.

Sometimes the only way over a wall is to pile up enough bodies to climb over - Dave W.
whipped6
18
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Joined: 31st Aug 2006
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Posted: 2nd Oct 2006 03:42
i know Ruccus can code but im just trying to learn as fast as possible and i slowed down on my posts and every time i go to IRC i do ask some questions but some times i dont and RUCCUS your always dissing me there to... so im really getting mad at that ive ben really... nice to you and u throw it back into my face.

game creator
Cash Curtis II
19
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Joined: 8th Apr 2005
Location: Corpus Christi Texas
Posted: 2nd Oct 2006 12:33
@whipped6 -
All that might certainly be true, but retaliating with things that aren't true is just childish.


Come see the WIP!
Red Ocktober
20
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Joined: 6th Dec 2003
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Posted: 2nd Oct 2006 15:56
why the admins or mods haven't already deleted this thread is beyond me...

this childish stupidity is a throwback to the foolishness that once was the hallmark of the DB forums...

--Mike
Killswitch
22
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Joined: 2nd Oct 2002
Location: School damnit!! Let me go!! PLEASE!!!
Posted: 2nd Oct 2006 16:58
Your mum is so stupid she starved to death in Tescos!

(If you're American Tescos ~ Walmart)

~Heed my word hobags: Jism~
Insanity Complex
19
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Joined: 16th Sep 2005
Location: Home
Posted: 2nd Oct 2006 17:09
Your mom...is your mom.

Burrrn.


Problems? Yes I used to have those...until I went insane.
Scraggle
Moderator
21
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Joined: 10th Jul 2003
Location: Yorkshire
Posted: 2nd Oct 2006 17:12
Quote: "(If you're American Tescos ~ Walmart)
"

... and if your British, Tescos = Tesco


The crazy
19
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Joined: 20th Jan 2005
Location: Behind you
Posted: 2nd Oct 2006 17:14
ruccus, whipped, shut up. I wanna know some more jokes. Dont make this thread get locked.

Van B
Moderator
22
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Joined: 8th Oct 2002
Location: Sunnyvale
Posted: 2nd Oct 2006 17:23
Yo mamma so fat, I rolled over twice and I was still on top of her.


Sorry Red, couldn't resist.

''Stick that in your text and scroll it!.''
Cash Curtis II
19
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Location: Corpus Christi Texas
Posted: 2nd Oct 2006 17:38
Haha


Come see the WIP!
Fallout
22
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Joined: 1st Sep 2002
Location: Basingstoke, England
Posted: 2nd Oct 2006 17:52 Edited at: 2nd Oct 2006 17:53
Uhhh ...

Your mamma is so stupid, she took a spoon to the SuperBowl.

Your mamma is so fat, when she lies on the beach GreenPeace tow her back out to sea.

Erm ..

Your mamma is so fat, BT gave her two area codes.

Your mamma is so fat, when I rolled off I burnt my arse on the lightbulb.

Your mumma is so fat, her navel gets home 15 minutes before she does.

Your mumma is so fat when she turns round we lose an hour of sunlight.

All I can remember. I told these jokes once to a guy I met at uni whos mum had recently died of cancer (obviously I didn't know). Oh, the joy of putting your foot about as far in it as is humanly possible.


SpyDaniel
18
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Joined: 4th Feb 2006
Location: United Kingdom
Posted: 2nd Oct 2006 18:06
This is really dumb, also, why havent any mods locked this?

Fallout
22
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Joined: 1st Sep 2002
Location: Basingstoke, England
Posted: 2nd Oct 2006 18:09
Because they're just crappy jokes. I agree its not funny, but why should it get locked? They're not directed at anyone, except a hypothetical mumma! It's not offensive. I'm sure there are a few killjoy mods who'd lock it just for the sake of locking something that isn't very productive, but there's no flaming or anything.


Evil Star
18
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Joined: 24th Jan 2006
Location: England, Colchester
Posted: 2nd Oct 2006 18:14
Because they don't feel the need to prehaps?


Richard Davey
Retired Moderator
22
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Joined: 30th Apr 2002
Location: On the Jupiter Probe
Posted: 2nd Oct 2006 18:22
Fallouts reasons are why I didn't lock this. I moved it from the DB board, because it's nothing to do with DB, but it's also no more or less a waste of space than the pointless 'word association' thread (actually I guess technically, it's less of a waste of actual drive space)

"Bite my shiny metal ass" (Futurama)
"Don't ping my cheese with your bandwidth" (Dilbert)
Gamedesign er20
18
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Joined: 30th Jun 2006
Location: The one place you would never look...
Posted: 2nd Oct 2006 18:42
For some strange reason, it shows on my computer that this thread is still in th DBC board.

By the way, Yo momma so dirty that she was banned from a sewage facility because of sanitation worries!

Cocacola and Pepsi aren't that differnt. Deal with it.
SirFire
19
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Joined: 4th Apr 2005
Location: North America
Posted: 2nd Oct 2006 18:47
Your mama's so stupid she tripped over a cordless phone.
Your mama's so fat she has her own gravity.
Your mama's so fat President Bush thinks she's harboring terrorists.
Your mama's so short she needs a ladder to put on her shoes.
Your mama's so stupid she bought a solar-powered flashlight.
Your mama's so fat she visited Japan and scared off Godzilla.

Phaelax
DBPro Master
21
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Joined: 16th Apr 2003
Location: Metropia
Posted: 2nd Oct 2006 21:31
- Yo momma's so skinny, for halloween, she covered herself in aluminum foil and went as a leftover breadstick.
- Yo momma's like a Happy Meal- Small, Cheap, and Greasy.
- Yo momma's so old, I told her to act her own age-she died.
- Yo momma's so fat, she's got more chins than a chinese phonebook.
- Yo mama so hairy you almost died of rug burn at birth. (i debated posting that one)

"Using Unix is the computing equivalent of listening only to music by David Cassidy" - Rob Pike
Zaibatsu
18
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Joined: 1st May 2006
Location: Lost in Thought
Posted: 3rd Oct 2006 02:37 Edited at: 3rd Oct 2006 02:41
your momma so fat, she really sits AROUND the house

your momma so stupid, she though she was getting her hair cut at a clippers game

your momma so old, she farts out dust

your momma's like Home Depot, 10 cents a screw

your momma so black, when she stepped out of the car, the street lights turned on (I don't know how it is where you live, but here the street lamps are on a darkness monitor)

_Ken sent me
Lucifer
18
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Joined: 26th Dec 2005
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Posted: 3rd Oct 2006 02:47
Yo mama's so clumsy she got tangled up in a cordless phone!

Yo mama's arms are so short, she has to tilt her head to scratch her ear!

Yo mama's mouth so big, she speaks in surround sound!

Yo mama's teeth are so yellow she spits butter!

Yo mama's so skinny she turned sideways and disappeared!

Yo mama's so short she does backflips under the bed!

Yo mama's so short you can see her feet on her drivers licence!

Yo mama's so poor she can't afford to pay attention!

Yo mama's so bald that she took a shower and got brain-washed!

Yo mama's so greasy companies buy their Oil from her!

Yo mama's so flat she's jealous of the wall!

Yo mama's so poor she goes to Kentucky Fried Chicken to lick other people's fingers!

Yo mama's so poor she waves around a popsicle stick and calls it air conditioning!

Yo mama's so lazy she thinks a two-income family is where yo daddy has two jobs!

Yo mama's so bald you can see whats on her mind!

Yo momma's so fat she needs a VCR for a pager

Yo Momma so fat the back of her neck looks like a pack of hotdogs

Your mama's so fat that her belly button makes an echo

Yo momma's so fat her cerial bowl comes with a lifeguard

Yo momma so fat when she walks past window we lose four days of sun light

Yo momma's so fat she had to get baptised at sea world

Your momma's so fat when she fell over, she rocked herself to sleep tryin to get back up again

Your mammas so fat and stupid, when it was raining she used the freeway for a slip and slide

Yo momma's so fat that when the whales saw her they started singing "we are family"

Yo momma is so fat when she goes to a restaurant she has to be greased in and out of the boothes

Yo mamma's so fat she was attacked by japenese mlitary, they thought she was godzillas wife.

Yo mamma's so fat when she went on school feild trips the school had to raise fund to feed her.

Your momma's so fat she makes free willy look like a goldfish

Yo mama is so fat when I layed back on her stomach i rolled twce and I was still in the middle


praise furry jesus
Dgamer
22
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Joined: 30th Sep 2002
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Posted: 3rd Oct 2006 02:55
Yo mamma so fat, she blocked the sun and started the cold war.


Megaton Cat
21
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Joined: 24th Aug 2003
Location: Toronto, Canada
Posted: 3rd Oct 2006 03:06
ur mom's so fat she gained weight lawl

Steve J
18
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Joined: 22nd Apr 2006
Location: Vancouver, Washington
Posted: 3rd Oct 2006 03:11
yo mamas so fat her ass couldnt get capped foo!!11111

lolololol

http://phoenixophelia.com

Steve J, less, and less Controversial!

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