bombastic buttrage head.
Teh full story:
One day while young zombie sat on a bench eating human brains he saw a strange figure in a white Mercedes driving next to a bald camel. The strange figure ate some peanuts and choked to get the attention of a squirrel. The squirrel ignored the sitting zombies, but felt attracted to a pie-eating spider monkey who was screaming “HELP!!! DICK CHENEY!!!” This was seen as an insult by the moderators, but the moderators decided not to ban Dick Cheney from the universe. Instead, they asked why he did not clean the car on Saturday. He didn’t answer. He looked around. He stopped. A fire truck fell into a pit. It burst into flames and exploded. Another fire truck did the same but emitted a radioactive beam of chicken manure and shiny steel spoons. The spoons were carelessly tossed into a swimming pool by the Klingons who dastardly ate my chocolate digestive! The Klingons exploded on the sofa, then blew up a moat using radioactive slimy goo. This caused a nuclear explosion at McDonalds. The “food” they served there was mostly unaffected. Big macs and nuggets, Radioactive McDonalds did, I’m telling the world about it. “GO ON!!!” yelled Dick Cheney. He then ran across the street into a metal light post and saw a young zombie sitting on a pukwak. The zombie licked the ice and pooed his pants. His girlfriend saw him eat the ice and proceeded to watch eBay, then bidded on a shiny new handbag. W3P was not a giant cherry. Insert Name Here decided to go to the bathroom in time for Heroes. Then he tripped over a small, furry kitten named Benjamin, then Benjamin got mad and hissed at Zombie 20 for posting in his thread. Benjamin then cried because his tail was completely wrecked. It needed grooming. His new plugin was now severely broken due to Xenocythe hacking it’s Paris Hilton, under a dark bridge. Yet, not. The Evil Benjamin Laughs at unnecessary capitalization. Agent Dink is embarrassed. Thus, the end. “NOT!” Yelled the frightening yeti as neon lights blinked in INH’s (the cat murderer’s) face. Anyway… This story was completely random. And that was good. Work time was happy time and over because my bike got deconstructed by cola-cola moon waffle. Whilst Benjamin was licking his milk biscuit, Benjamin fell from his high-chair of browning frozen apple shoes. So then his Suzuki Swift lumberjack blade of fury cut open the salted pork. The pork came, about to attack a noob called Norbet the frog. Norbet squealed in a compacter while his brains were thoroughly pounded. A monkey ate some bananas while Norbet castrated the squirrel with a rusted spoon. Then the world was shaken by a massive feather weighing 100 pounds and dollars, which was nice. He fell over the remains of a dead leaf. The little zombie shot a duck and ate its spleen, while wetting his good friend’s insides. His friend went insane and burst into flames. A fire fighter devoured a pyromaniac chicken warrior from the local Wal-Mart, which, incidentally, was Dick Cheney. He toasted fried foods with his large Kevlar-reinforced spatula G-CON 45 type egg and tripped over Sisccoristicatalistically Sam, who shot Dick Cheney. He was annoyed, and Grandma farted, and sparks from Hippopotomonstrosesquipedalian class words were electrically charged, causing meltdowns that caused many meltdowns. Afterward, Johnny came and said “Eat my shorts!” Then, after which the biggest ice cream cone on the continent, on the continent, and on Grandma. Johnny was a bit smelly so he ate curries and garnish to save mankind. “Flubajuba! What a smeeeeeee…” said FUbert, who, made of green, became a lemon before being eaten by Dick Cheney. Of whom became the world’s best hunter. Of course, at flatulence competitions, he absolutely stank. But Alphonso didn’t. Alphonso was excellent! And so was Dick Cheney. This story made his ghost return from the dead. But this was really really fake and the moderators locked up the world’s database of poppyseed farms and giant purple hippos thus causing global insanity. That was the end of the story. NO WAY!!! But it was. Orly yer way! Now it’s back with a large hairy leg. Oh, wait, I just killed brown sticky smelly fungus imbued stools! With my long nose. It reminded Lukas of his even longer body and his desire for a hot, sensual coffee machine. He was a girl that jumped off a hamburger. Fun!!!!!!!!!!! And when Grandma shot a pumpkin with Nex the Fairly Fast Ferret man jumped off a cliff guy and exploded ferociously. The pumpkin exploded into a million shards of pristine crystallized frozen snot shot from his finger. It hurt his very sensitive although paradoxically large long, hard organ-ic model of Indi-go coloured pants with sequined buttons on the front and integrated nuclear power plants which output enough cheese for the whole cheese wagon factory. The ugly duckling decided upon the gravy-stained trousers. The trousers gave the duckling super Matrix bullet time, which eventually wore a hole in Keo C’s jacket of youth. Keo C got a speeding ticket for doing the dance of extreme flowers. Young Zombie died. Then end. “Comes with fries?” yelled Captain Picard, “Or a milkshake?” with his bulging lump in his boxer shorts, which he stuck in the ground and Lt-Commander data’s gaping optronic relay data. Humpty Dumpty sat on TGC squashing them to death. Picard’s big slippery galaxy-class starship’s tractor beam module. Bill Gates awoke, then he blew his nose on a monkey with a burning Macintosh on his doorstep. Then he back flipped over his house. Then his lover’s big throbbing cucumber sized appendage used to operate the TV suddenly spewed strange fluid which was rather sticky and highly flammable. He tasted very nice on toast with butter. He lit crumpets and caviar smothered on one’s clock which then made some smoke. A chair that vibrated rather like a balloon got high. Then, everyone started posting at the same time and the story made no sense. Stoopid, the noob, yelled “HALLALUYAH!!!” then got eaten by a someone with an IQ of -10000 and a mad monkey. Then we took our underwear off and ran naked and exposed a hideous butt. Then Dick Cheney yelled “Stoopid is stupid!” Then he died. Dragonballs resurrected Cheney, then George Bush metamorphosed anthropomorphically into a thinking, talking, personified rabbit-squirrel-dog-cat-foxgirl. “Three words?” said Mr. Makealotofsmoke, as noobishness. Hello Kitty was verily unintelligentantistic, and flew away above the barber. He sold guns to little children. The children shot each other, and yelled “BLASPHEMY” while farting. The end. Benjamin=party pooper. And yet not. Later that night, he took out a green spoon and shot me. I’m so sad. The next day, Bill is cool, but not good at dancing with hot, cute girls who slap him then take him and shoot him with hydrodoxin methanlenticilin from INH’s brain which was large-ly unpopulated and really dumb because it was. Then, this naked girl sucked a big, fat, long, juicy chocolate ice lolly filled with white sticky liquid called ice cream. Boobs made of plaster soon started to bounce around a while a man’s huge throbbing battery started squirting battery juice. Xenocythe started drinking fluids from a very strange thread full of very strange posts. Superman, along with some other people, began ignoring Xenocythe’s posts, due to a turd that had been polished quite well with sea men’s great goalie skills and shoe polish. Mr. Zeno then ate a rather smelly large lump of French cheese with tasty chocolate cake shoved up his rather big hairy gaping hole called the fridge. Then Captain Picard cooked a peck of cake, along with picked pickled peppers that peed poison, to have with cream stew and chunks of poo. Mr. Faces faced feces called Dark Coder. Benjamin the dork-basher hit Dark Coder. Dark Coder zapped Benjamin and killed him. However, not really. Benjamin (unfortunately) lived on for 2 minutes, then got run over by Xeno’s MMORPG, which was on an advertisement truck. We buried Benjamin in radioactively polluted cats that mutated into chicken manure. Benjamin disintegrated and was never seen again. Meanwhile, Rami said Benjamin had lots of stupidity, causing the accident. Then, a nuclear explosion brought Benjamin back as a clown. “Aww, I always hate clowns” said G as he killed Benjamin forever with a computer stuck up Mr. Zeno’s left nostril. It exploded. How random. Stoopid stupidly stuck in a nude left shoe. This was random. G-ary was afraid-ed from a clowns party which scared him. “Aww,” said his hairy mum and then did the cancan while Gary had a seizure. Dragon poop fell on Yoda and he cried. He then kicked the bucket. Next, he kicked Benjamin in his head manager at Microsoft. Benjamin was fired but then Benjamin was then hired. But then he was fired again. However, not really, but in desperate measures he murdered his OWN FACE! Agent Dink shouted, while eating poo, “I surrender!” He tried shouting, but was too weak, so he licked a poodle named Doogy-Spanky. He then killed Doogy-Spanky and Boggle, who screamed “DICK CHENEY!!!” before tipping his waitress over a cliff. Then, the Crazy ate a smiley and promptly gagged on a large piece of broccoli which flew out over the cliff. A sheep ricocheted off another sheep called Deathead who revealed to be human. Deathead was really happy to know absolutely nothing about Diggsey’s stupid post which was bound by the evil to do something astoundingly amazingly atrociously boring yet slightly irritable. This was stupid, however there always was Cardiff. Cardiff was a respectable young lady who was slim. Suddenly a go-kart, driven by Luigi, and Mario throwing pasta shells obtained by dancing nude upon Candy Mountain, and Dick Cheney. This was said to have shaved his big Mario moustache which got real hard then it died. I farted loudly. Until… A bear forcefully wiped his windshield with a whip. He was dizzy from having too much beer AND DIED! “Aw” Indi came along and then left or right, on the subway machine and ate a cookie. Normal is not Indi because he got mad and killed younglings. Then TGC took action and booted him in his little bum-bum. He then exploded into smaller monsters and they ran backwards through wet, muddy, and swampy stuff. Then he couldn’t get off his high horse which was named Xenocythe the mighty chicken chow mien dooty-faced donkey. This donkey had a tumorous swashbuckler attached to its privates. This interested a local television media tea-server, who tripped on a rock. BT suck. “Makes no sense!” bellowed the magical fairy/unicorn/pirate. This crazy amalgamation was completely random. Bah… I was first. However, just then, Sam Whitwickey shot explosions out of nowhere and stopped the universal expansion. A space ship blew up. FUNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111lolzorrolf111 The end. Or so they thought it was. Aaron Miller needs a bandage for his incredibly long arm. He decided that he should rub it roughly with a cactus. Dick Cheney’s spine yelled “No more hilarious Dick Cheney comments!”, while tingling with anticipation. This tickling spine tickled Cheney’s fancy. One man here called Benjamin farted really really loudly. The earth shook and then a mountain of cows tumbled on Aaron. Aaron visited Dr. Zombie20, not Dr. Manette, because Dr. Zombie20 is better at examining infected urinal tracts. The problem is that he could eat your brains with rusty plastic, so you had no brains but something resembling Muesli instead. THE END. Then a cliffhanger… “NO!” declared Cheney while being shot in the FACE with a giant gun of fury. He’s no longer mentioned until now. Cheney was forgotten forever. From the heavens, a spotted monkey fell on an old man who wanted to meet Cheney. The blind man then went to a weird doctor who said “Don’t worry, be happy, the world is just a toilet bowl on a rotating gravitational turntable of lots of disco balls.” Even though the zombie was just a slime monster, he ate the arch duke of Cheney. Did you see that happen? 42 pwns all. Aaron Miller is the craziest person on discworld. Resolution settings aside, Chuck Norris’ tiled doesn’t make sense at all so the story continues. Dick Cheney washed and died forever! But Cheney lived! Then he punched Dr. Manette and died irreversibly until the fairy godparents ensured this. STAY DEAD. A big asteroid smashed into Cheney’s corpse, disintegrating it. “Avast ye scurvy!” yelled Cheney’s brother while eating a piece of Cheney’s tooth. This had dire consequences. Foot-long’s the word! Now rise up and end teh story! No, don’t end the story, it has already died. But it’s been over the hill and died. The end. Once upon a time, the story was not over. And it kept me happy because it’s my life. Dick Cheney’s brother eats piss clams and dies too. Long live Johnson! 343 Guilty Spark shot Johnson. Frodo McDaniels was a boy murdered by a chicken with tha_Rami. He was Cheney. The Earth exploded from a revelation: Cheney lives! Cheney suddenly died permanently. I like how Cheney arises like just now! Cheney dies monstrously. By a chicken with lung cancer eating a pie with lots of stuff. Dick Cheney made clones that suddenly died. Cheney was walking into a trap but lived forever. Until he died. He isn’t Cheney. Now, he is Robert F the Dick Cheney clone. Cheney beget Emo. Brain damaged, he walked into a celebrity, who was fat, ugly, and drunk and was named Cheney. Then a cheney cheney cheney! Cheney is dead. I disagree. Cheney said, “I’ll shoot myself!” and he did not die! “Hooray!” they yelled and got naked but by then, Cheney had already died. Bruce Willis revived Cheney again. Bruce killed Cheney. Then revived him. Bruce re-killed Cheney. Cheney haunted Bruce until he lived. Then he hugged trees with Cheney, and then chopped carrots until he believed Cheney to be the ruler of the space-time continuum. Cheney was vaporized indefinitely. But Cheney lived. And then died. But revived! Dr. Manette, and Cheney, are dead. His existence, erased. That makes no sense! So Cheney lives! Dr. Manette died and erased his identity. Bruce, however, was naked in space following Cheney’s funeral. Cheney clone #2535435 never existed and beer is alcoholic. So Cheney revived. And lived forever. But never existed. Except in the nowhere! Suddenly, Cheney lived until people stopped debating whether he was alive or not. And then, KYP skipped 5 pages to catch back up with the posts. At the moment, he thought “What the pure, untainted crap this story has become, and should be ended. Along with the other stupid threads on this board… Of course, there will always be someone to stick a frag grenade in a donkey or a horse. If they’re feeling around blindly for an armored vault. The English professor, specializing in rectal cupcakes, with a major in baking French fries, with chocolate acne cream. “You suck, bigtime” screamed the wretched bombastic buttrage head.
