Sorry your browser is not supported!

You are using an outdated browser that does not support modern web technologies, in order to use this site please update to a new browser.

Browsers supported include Chrome, FireFox, Safari, Opera, Internet Explorer 10+ or Microsoft Edge.

Geek Culture / Bullying - What To Do

Author
Message
Father Tree
17
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 19th Nov 2006
Location: England - Plympton
Posted: 12th Jul 2007 00:18
Link
Hey..

Im in a bit of a problem here, i think or i actually know that i am being Bullied at School. Each day i get called horrible names and i try to ignore them but they keep on coming up to me and shouting in my face. I am begining (sp?) to get paranoid thinking that everyone is giving me dirty looks as i walk past them even if i smile at them. I also keep on getting punched and kicked. This is happening from a group of people in my form and a few in a different form, they are meant to be my friends but i dont know what to do? If i get really annoyed and start smacking them that will make me as bad as them! I do get really annoyed most of the time and take it out on people who have done nothing ( which makes me feel bad later ( i just shout at them if they do something wrong not trying to bully them,)). This is getting me really wound up an i dont know what to do.
Please Could Someone suggest what to o, please dont comment about the spelling its late at night and i need to go sleep, i was deciding wether to post this because i might get negative remarks.

Best
Father Tree

Add me if you got Xbox live please -_-
Back to top
Profile PM
Zotoaster
19
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 20th Dec 2004
Location: Scotland
Posted: 12th Jul 2007 00:23 Edited at: 12th Jul 2007 00:33
Link
I used to get bullied too. I find these things helped me: Always use self defence as an excuse. Think to yourself, "What would Chuck Norris do?", and try to embarrass them as much as you can infront of the girls.

[edit (with a little more seriousness)]

I'll be honest. I think schools make bullying sound like such a scary and horrible thing, which I think weakens most people. You have to remember that everywhere you will go in your entire life, you will have to put up with some form of bullying, it's a Dog Eat Dog world. I think you just have to be a little firm. Often these people will annoy you for weeks, and all it take is a little fright and they're away. If it does get too bad, go to your teacher. Sometimes it doesnt work, but most often it does, but you can't do that too often, or you'll just make yourself a target.

"It's like floating a boat on a liquid that I don't know, but I'm quite happy to drink it if I'm thirsty enough" - Me being a good programmer but sucking at computers
Back to top
Profile PM Email
UnderLord
21
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 2nd Aug 2003
Location:
Posted: 12th Jul 2007 00:45
Link
When i was in school i got my butt handed to me alot, but i also handed it to a few people as well. But people seem to respect you more when you try to defend yourself then if you just take it. If you can learn anything from Ender Wiggin (I think that was his last name in Enders game) showing a little muscle will always get you ahead of the game if all else fails punch them in the stomach, thats all it takes usually, i'v won many fights against people just with a simple and swift punch to the stomach...

Or taking karate lessons help's alot but learning karate or any form of martial arts takes time and dedication.

"I have noticed even people who claim everything is predestined, and that we can do nothing to change it, look before they cross the road."
Back to top
Profile PM
Fallout
22
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 1st Sep 2002
Location: Basingstoke, England
Posted: 12th Jul 2007 01:00
Link
The way I see it, you have three options:

-Do nothing and put up with it until you leave school
-Distance yourself from the problem kids. Try to sit on different desks etc. Never speak to em. It'll take some time, but eventually they'll lose interest.
-Smack them back, and make sure you hurt them. I wouldn't recommend this against any nuttjobs who really are into fighting. This only works against kids that are immature and just picking on you because they know you won't hit em back.


Back to top
Profile PM
GatorHex
19
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 5th Apr 2005
Location: Gunchester, UK
Posted: 12th Jul 2007 01:08 Edited at: 12th Jul 2007 01:12
Link
You need to find friends to hang with. You don't get bothered if you have a group of your own. Try and find out what the biggest kid in the school is interested in, then use it to become his friend

Stand up straight, raise your head, take up kung fu, kick sum1s butt (in self defense of course), have attitude and confidence in yourself.

A hunter always goes for the weak and lonely, so try not to look that way.

DinoHunter (still no nVidia compo voucher!), CPU/GPU Benchmark, DarkFish Encryption DLL, War MMOG (WIP), 3D Model Viewer
Back to top
Profile PM Website
SpyDaniel
18
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 4th Feb 2006
Location: United Kingdom
Posted: 12th Jul 2007 01:17
Link
Just whack them one, they will soon leave you alone.

Heh, when I was in school, I remember some kid who thought he was tough. He pushed me when I walked by, so I pushed him into the wall and all of his friends jumped me. Heh, but the weaklings couldn't even get me down and there must have been about 30 of them. Sad little gits, they think they are all that, but really are just pansies.

So the moral of the story is to kick the @#%&$! out of them and send them running.

Mr. PC Maintenance
Back to top
Profile PM
hessiess
17
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 30th Mar 2007
Location: pc!
Posted: 12th Jul 2007 01:26
Link
get a laptop and work in the libury/some outher protected place during brakes and dinner , thay will get board eventually

learn blender, you will never regret it.

http://vector4.co.uk/SDbanner.jpg
Back to top
Profile PM Email
Grandma
18
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 26th Dec 2005
Location: Norway, Guiding the New World Order
Posted: 12th Jul 2007 01:36
Link
Well i have been in the same situation, going for first class until 9th. Constant bullying. Not much fun, alot of times i skipped school, telling mom i had headaches or something. I bet my total skipping time from school in my years has got to be about half a year which i didn't attend.

I got past school by not giving into the bullys, what they want is to see you suffer, crying or running away from them is a job well done for them. If you stand your ground and bottle up your emotions, they wont find much pleasure in bullying you. From personal experience, telling teachers/parents or anyone about the problem didn't help alot in my case. It made it worse infact.

The first thing you need to do before standing your ground is to get yourself to understand that bullys are lesser people. They feel good for causing harm to others, it makes them feel powerfull. That is a mental disorder imo, a defect human. Why should you listen to what a defect human says? I got called many nasty things trough school, but none of them got to me because i knew they say those things because they disliked me, whether their insults were valid or not is irrelevant. It's no reason to get upset for verbal attacks, okay that person doesn't like me, got it. Then i exclude that persons influence in my attitude, i guess that takes some training, but just remember that you can't always run away from your problems.

Being insane, old, commie, gay and stupid is just my DBP forum image, in reality i'm somewhat normal. Altough friends and family would disagree.
Back to top
Profile PM Email
Xarshi
18
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 25th Dec 2005
Location: Ohio
Posted: 12th Jul 2007 01:42
Link
I can't really help you...noone was brave enough to mess with me to my face,so yeah. I'm not going to lie,I've bullied people before. But nothing like hitting them. Not even really harsh words,but still bullying. But really,just ignore them. Or punch them in the back of the head and knock them out. Either way works great

Hello
Back to top
Profile PM Email
Zotoaster
19
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 20th Dec 2004
Location: Scotland
Posted: 12th Jul 2007 01:58
Link
I dont think you should hurt them to bad. If they aren't fighting addicts, and you dont think they will hit you back, a nice hard thump on the shoulder (it has to hurt, but no bone breaking or nothing), and a "What the %$^& do you want?!" should probably do

"It's like floating a boat on a liquid that I don't know, but I'm quite happy to drink it if I'm thirsty enough" - Me being a good programmer but sucking at computers
Back to top
Profile PM Email
xplosys
18
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 5th Jan 2006
Playing: FPSC Multiplayer Games
Posted: 12th Jul 2007 02:13
Link
Quote: "A hunter always goes for the weak and lonely, so try not to look that way."


So true, and there was some other good advice here I think. Every situation is different and you'll have to find your own way, but I can tell you what worked for me. I was bullied for years, up until about the 6th grade I think it was. What stopped it was me finally having taken enough and deciding to stand up and give some back.

I just got it into my head that I was going to fight back, and if I got my butt handed to me, so be it, but I wasn't going down without a fight. What I found was that most of the bullies weren't tough at all, and as soon as they saw that I was going to fight back, they left me alone. The rest didn't really want to fight. They just wanted someone to pick on who would take it.

Anyway, after my first fight, in which I really kicked butt by the way, on the baseball field during gym class, the bullies had a whole new respect for me.

Life has a funny way of leveling off after a while. I was a skinny runt back then and was scared of everyone. Now I'm six-foot-one, two hundred pounds and would never think about fighting, nor do I have to.

Best.

I'm sorry, my answers are limited. You must ask the right question.

Back to top
Profile PM
alex 1337
User Banned
Posted: 12th Jul 2007 02:22
Link
Lo u guys are nerds. Just punch whoever is bullying u in the face. Thats the way we kick ass in America.

Back to top
Profile
Shadow heart
17
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 2nd Dec 2006
Location: US
Posted: 12th Jul 2007 02:22 Edited at: 12th Jul 2007 02:24
Link
alright look dude. if u can smack around some other people yeah smack them back. a tooth for a tooth a nail afor a nail is my modo. if they call u names say shut the hell up to them. and if u have to and if THEY HIT U !!<FIRST>Q!!knock em' out. look i know u guys are thinking i'm sounding like someone who looks negatively but if they won'tstop u have to stande up to them.a some of them will sand up and try and fight back, some of them will back down. and some may really try to be your friend. look dude maybe there playing with you. if they are really ur friends, u know they might be jokin real hard cuz i friends like taht we all all messaground wit each other.

my friend who ways like 300 pounds was getting bullied then finally stoood up to dis dude and beat the crap of him.

haha lets rock this world.
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
CattleRustler
Retired Moderator
21
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 8th Aug 2003
Location: case modding at overclock.net
Posted: 12th Jul 2007 02:27
Link
If they are picking on you merely because you havent done anything back yet, then it means they see you as weak, and its about time you start putting out some of their lights. I commend your patience but at some point enough is enough. Youve already shown youre the better man, now its time for you to end the harassment.

If you havent fought back because you cant defend yourself or they are huge, then you have a different situation altogether.

If you are their size and can hold your own then I'd recommend you drill the next slack jaw'd punk that messes with you. Once you lay that dude out the rest of them will think twice and they will all begin to leave you alone. You may want to wait until the bigger/badder of them messes with you, and lay his ass out - that will end all of the others from messing with you.

I suggest you learn how to throw a good uppercut and hook combo. Uppercut to jaw - hook to temple, usually a guaranteed knock out.

Please have one of your friends video tape the melee so we can see, thanks

My DBP plugins page is now hosted [href]here[/href]
Back to top
Profile PM
Trinity Pictures
18
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 10th Nov 2006
Location: Leesburg, VA
Posted: 12th Jul 2007 02:28 Edited at: 12th Jul 2007 02:30
Link
I wrote an article about this when I worked for my local newspaper as a columnist (I did it for free since I am under 18) Unfourtunatly I did not follow my own advice and it led to my attempted suicide.

Artist/Modellor of Encrypto Studios
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
SpyDaniel
18
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 4th Feb 2006
Location: United Kingdom
Posted: 12th Jul 2007 02:30
Link
This, is, SPARTA!

Mr. PC Maintenance
Back to top
Profile PM
soapyfish
21
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 24th Oct 2003
Location: Yorkshire, England
Posted: 12th Jul 2007 02:42
Link
Hate to be the party pooper but if you do punch one of them and they crack their head on the floor they could die. Then you'd be in a right pickle.

But don't let that stop you. An eye for an eye and all that.

We are the angry mob, we read the papers every day. We like who we like, we hate who we hate but we're also easily swayed!
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Shadow heart
17
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 2nd Dec 2006
Location: US
Posted: 12th Jul 2007 02:47
Link
Quote: "Hate to be the party pooper but if you do punch one of them and they crack their head on the floor they could die. Then you'd be in a right pickle."


don't punch em' that hard. just enough to give em the message

haha lets rock this world.
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
SunnyKatt
18
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 16th Sep 2006
Location: USA
Posted: 12th Jul 2007 02:56
Link
mr. alex 1337 or whatever, not everybody can just run up and kick ass. Even nerds can kick ass. I'm a geek and Im a 6 year tae kwon do kick butt-er. And I'm still short. I never got bullied though. I'm just like... 5 foot... 4? Tips to those that are getting bullied. Learn to fight. You feel safer. Don't show it off like a butthole. Now i dont know where you go to school, but if you have to fight:

1. Keep your guard up, it helps.
2. Dont be afraid to take cheap shots. Gouge the eyes. Kick the crotch. Punch the nose. They deserve it.
3. Don't be eager to fight, this will make them harder on you.
4. When you can, get out of there. Once they are on the ground or whatever, even for a second, leave.
5. Whatever they do to you you should be able to do back without feeling bad about it.
6. Never, ever tell on them or whatever you call it. It will make it worse and you will be bullied at least 7 times as hard.

Good luck. Ill keep reading this forum.

oh yeah,
7. Dont kick or do anything fancy unless you know HOW.

IM NEVER ONLINE TILL SOMETIME AT NIGHT!!! god dont expect me to be sitting at my computer all the time
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Zaibatsu
18
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 1st May 2006
Location: Lost in Thought
Posted: 12th Jul 2007 03:02
Link
Quote: "that will make me as bad as them!"


nah, if they start it it's their own fault.
Just slug 'em in the face next time.

"I admire its purity, a survivor, unclouded by conscience, remorse, or delusions of morality"

Back to top
Profile PM Email
GatorHex
19
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 5th Apr 2005
Location: Gunchester, UK
Posted: 12th Jul 2007 03:13
Link
Quote: "An eye for an eye and all that."


Then the world would be blind.. exept for the last man with an eye.

In the kingdom of the blind the one eyed man is king! Muhahaha

DinoHunter (still no nVidia compo voucher!), CPU/GPU Benchmark, DarkFish Encryption DLL, War MMOG (WIP), 3D Model Viewer
Back to top
Profile PM Website
Benjamin
21
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 24th Nov 2002
Location: France
Posted: 12th Jul 2007 03:33
Link
Notice how all the Americans on this thread are encouraging violence.

But really, you probably just have to show them who's boss and that you won't be pushed around.

Tempest (DBP/DBCe)
Multisync V1 (DBP/DBCe)
Back to top
Profile PM Email
Three Score
20
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 18th Jun 2004
Location: behind you
Posted: 12th Jul 2007 04:02
Link
I know it's a bad option, but I got away from bullying by switching schools(also switching parents, but that's something completely different)

Before I left, I was not liked much...Looking back on it now, I can see why on some parts
The few people that wouldn't pick on me, I just plain annoyed, and knew it! but didn't care then...

Also, I talked about umm....programming..lol...that's not something good to talk about to people that aren't your best friend or another programmer...

I also will no recommend anything with bullying from this point of my life..I really didn't gain anything by any of my methods...
(make sure to take showers everyday!)


now, after I moved...I of course, knew no one
I was really only lonely though at lunch...I had a few friends kind of immediately..with even conflicts between who to choose(one group of friends or the other)

....meh...
I don't even know why I'm sharing this...not like it'd help you..

only thing I did that worked with bullies is
1. Try to make up something funny and hurt then with words
2. Play along with the insult..for example, one kid use to call me gay all teh time, so when he did, I jsut say "hey!!" in a gay voice and touch his shoulder and then laughed sarcastically...and so did he...not sure if this will work for you(but don't actually "confess" to the insult! this will just set you up for it)


anyway...
sorry for the dots..

Robot AI|My self coded blog|

She kills puppies.
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Cash Curtis II
19
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 8th Apr 2005
Location: Corpus Christi Texas
Posted: 12th Jul 2007 04:22
Link
They bully you because you allow them to. You allow people with sadistic tendencies to focus their energy on you.

There is only one option - you can't allow them to. If you smack someone for treating you like crap it's not the same as bullying at all, and won't make you 'as bad as them'.

The problem is probably deeper than you've revealed here, because most people won't target a person like that unless they see a reason. Chances are you're a dorky skinny kid. No harm in that, but it can certainly make you a target.

Turn your focus away from computers and work out. Lift weights. Become somewhat athletic. And don't be afraid to hit someone. You'll get in trouble once or twice, but then people won't mess with you.

If you don't follow my advice then it will just continue, and that will be your own choice. Life isn't fair, so you've got to deal with it. Good luck.


Come see the WIP!
Back to top
Profile PM
Code Dragon
18
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 21st Aug 2006
Location: Everywhere
Posted: 12th Jul 2007 05:00 Edited at: 12th Jul 2007 05:05
Link
People who bully can be a real pain, I know at least 5 kids at my school who are either gay or pretend to be gay just to annoy me. I'm constantly being bombarded by guys trying to touch me affectionatly. One of them even tried to follow me into the bathroom once, trying to shove the door open. It amazes me how stupid they are that by trying to come after me they're letting the whole school know that they're gay when they're only pretending.

Of course, the reason they do it is I don't do hit them back. But I still don't do it because on the two occasions that I did hit someone me and the other kid both wind up in the principal's office, the first time the other person was expelled.

For non-gay people, pretending that they don't exist or insulting them back only when you have a comeback good enough to make the whole class say "Ouch! You got owned!" works every time.

Another thing that works good is if they insult you is give them the same insult back but change "you're" to "your face is". Trust me it works wonders.

You never really know a person until you look at their google autocomplete entries.
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Agent Dink
20
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 30th Mar 2004
Location:
Posted: 12th Jul 2007 05:48
Link
Quote: "change "you're" to "your face is". Trust me it works wonders."


Hehehe... I love doing that. There's no way to come back at that either, aside from "is that all you can do" but deep down they know they just got pwned.

Seriously. If you think you can take 'em down, give it a shot. Once they realize you're not an easy target they'll move on to the next poor sap. Then you can go over and defend the kid they're messing with if you want. Put a little fear into them

Just so you know, I'd be there right there backing you up if I could be. I hate when people are seriously getting picked on and bullied.

[center]

Back to top
Profile PM
BiggAdd
Retired Moderator
20
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 6th Aug 2004
Location: != null
Posted: 12th Jul 2007 05:59
Link
I was bullied when i was in the 2nd year (British Grades) American standards would be 8th grade.... i think.

Anyway one day i just had enough and just punched him right in the face. Made his lip and nose bleed. Sure he hit me back, But it stopped the bullying.

Of course back then i was small relative to him. Now I'm 6'8" but surprisingly some people are thick enough to still bully me. I obviously can't hit them anymore because i am in fact 18 and will probably get an ASBO or something like that. I just pin them against the wall and give them a threatening lecture.

But if these guys aren't massively bigger than you. Just Tw@ them one while your still young enough to get away with it.

Back to top
Profile PM
RUCCUS
19
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 11th Dec 2004
Location: Canada
Posted: 12th Jul 2007 06:19
Link
Quote: "Another thing that works good is if they insult you is give them the same insult back but change "you're" to "your face is". Trust me it works wonders."


That worked a few years ago but believe me... not anymore. I've seen kids use that countless times and just get weird looks like "grow up...".

The best thing is to use "you're a" and then whatever they say about something else (not you). So if they said... "Haha, he wrote 2 as his answer", you'd calmly say "You're an answer.".


Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Benjamin
21
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 24th Nov 2002
Location: France
Posted: 12th Jul 2007 06:25
Link
The best comeback by far is "I know you are but what am I". Or if they call you stupid say "yes, but YOU'RE stupid". And so forth..

Tempest (DBP/DBCe)
Multisync V1 (DBP/DBCe)
Back to top
Profile PM Email
Three Score
20
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 18th Jun 2004
Location: behind you
Posted: 12th Jul 2007 06:55
Link
umm...for on the go things like that...

lets see..
there is Your face
If caught at jsut the right time, you can use "That's what she said!" that only works for somethigns though..
When someone does somethign stupid say "You got owned in the face" or the like..

hmmmm....
there is Your mother (just like Your face, but usually more offensive to a select few people)

ummm..
meh...might come up with something else later..

Robot AI|My self coded blog|

She kills puppies.
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
RUCCUS
19
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 11th Dec 2004
Location: Canada
Posted: 12th Jul 2007 06:57
Link
Quote: "lets see..
there is Your face
If caught at jsut the right time, you can use "That's what she said!" that only works for somethigns though..
When someone does somethign stupid say "You got owned in the face" or the like.."


I would definitely never say any of that... ever.


Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Jess T
Retired Moderator
21
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 20th Sep 2003
Location: Over There... Kablam!
Posted: 12th Jul 2007 10:26 Edited at: 12th Jul 2007 10:28
Link
Wow, you lot have some serious violence issues... And who says games don't promote violence?

Father Tree,
Don't hit them back.
No doubt, if you're hanging around on this forum asking for advice, you're not exactly the next Sylvester Stallone, eh?
You'll get hurt, and it's not fun.

I took the hit them back option once, and for the next week or so, I was literally chased around the school with their mates trying to knock me out. They succeeded a number of times.
Not fun.

Telling a teacher, in my experience, doesn't help. For whatever reason, they have some blind spot when it comes to verbal abuse. Unless you can show them a huge gash and two black eyes, they'll just turn their back on you time and time again, and then you'll be ridiculed for telling on them.

If you have the sort of relationship that allows for it, talk to your mum, and make sure that she knows she can't go to the school or talk to anyone else's parents, all you want to do is confide in her and talk about it. She can reassure you and give you the best advice you'll get.

Unfortunatly for me, I had (still sorta have) ADHD (form of ADD), which means I got really upset when picked on (every day).
It almost always ended in tears for me, and I dreaded going to school, riding the bus, even going to the beach after school, etc.

Eventually, it all came to a head when one of the bullys (a god-damned professional boxer) got high and came back to the school looking for me and another guy who supposedly told on him at one stage in school. Lucky for me, I can run very, very fast, and as high and as strong as he was, I out-paced him. Sadly, he got the other bloke, and really messed him up. Broke some bones, knocked out a few teeth (adult front teeth), and black eyes.
It took 3 of the big muscley Sports teachers to get him on the ground.

After that, noone really bothered me much anymore. Don't know why, they just didn't. It also meant, however, that I was no longer mates with my best friend since he was a better mate with the bloke that got high.

Anyway...
Don't let that scare you

Seriously, keep your head in, retreat to the library, or ask if you can help out in the office at lunch, etc.
You'll find some good mates sooner or later, all of which will either be in the same position, or will just accept you for you, and you'll get along.

Until then, ignore it, don't react to any bullying, if they try to fight, run as fast as you can, and don't let them stop you from enjoying your life.
Don't be afraid, but don't lash out.

Good luck, mate.

Nintendo DS & Dominos :: DS Dominos
http://jt0.org
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Oraculaca
21
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 6th Jan 2003
Location: Scotland
Posted: 12th Jul 2007 10:45 Edited at: 12th Jul 2007 10:45
Link
kind of Everything Jess said.

Violence only leads to more violence. No amount of workout can stop a knife going in your body and that has happened on a number of occasions where bullying has escalated out of control.
First tell your parents. They will probably already suspect something is going on anyway from the way you are behaving.
Next Inform a teacher and if they don't listen then the head teacher. If your school has any kind of modern teaching methods then they will take you seriously.
And like Jess said, if you can then don't react to there taunts as it will only satisfy there sicko needs.

No.Art.Here
Back to top
Profile PM
Van B
Moderator
22
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 8th Oct 2002
Location: Sunnyvale
Posted: 12th Jul 2007 10:49
Link
Thing is, the first time you let it slide you become fair game - that first time someone punched you or whatever in front of his mates and you did nothing made you fair game.

I think you have to really vent on these people, like the next time someone hits you, bloody well get annoyed!. I'm not saying you should hit them back, because really that just results in you getting your ass handed to you - just vent on whoever it is, cause a scene, tell them your not gonna stand for this anymore, swear like a trooper, loudly so everyone hears, even if you get in trouble for it.

You have to show these people that enough is enough. When someone shouts in your face, turn away in disgust and tell them they should brush their teeth. Practice what you might say the next time something like this happens. If they know your just gonna embarrass them and make them look like a-holes when they have a go, then it'll happen less and less. It's important to do this in front of a lot of people. Don't hold back, vent all your frustration, it's more effective than hitting back - and you might find that you get some backup as well if you do it around a group of girls (not from the girls of course, more from boys trying to impress them).

The toughest people in your school don't bully people, because they don't have to constantly proove themselves. I went to a high school where I knew nobody, so I had to show my bristles, it's not such a bad thing to be known as a bit of a nut case when pushed too far, practice that temper mate.

We're going down... in a spiral to the ground...
Back to top
Profile PM Email
Aaron Miller
18
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 25th Feb 2006
Playing: osu!
Posted: 12th Jul 2007 10:57
Link
Quote: ""What would Chuck Norris do?""

w00t! Finally, another who likes the Chuck Norris jokes.

Quote: "Notice how all the Americans on this thread are encouraging violence."

Yup. Is American (No worries, I'm not offended )

@Father Tree
Well, in all honesty, the second someone started punching me, or getting physical, I would punch 'em right between the eyes.. Then when they are down, I'd kick 'em in the kidney. Then I would pick that person up by the shirt, take his arm behind his back (Because I don't hit girls), and lift it up (Which hurts a lot). After that, that person would be down... If he wasn't, I'd step on the back of his knee (Immobilizing him), and twist him around as far as I could (Without causing a broken limb/bone). Repeat process until down.

lol, I'm just kidding... Really what you should do is see a theoropist. (Not saying you are crazy) It would definately help, and keep you from going insane, or commiting an act of violence... Once someone stabbed his bully with a pencil... That is no good because the bully was actually fatally wounded (But lived)...



Cheers,

-naota


Nuclear Glory
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Shadow heart
17
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 2nd Dec 2006
Location: US
Posted: 12th Jul 2007 11:27
Link
Quote: "Then the world would be blind.. exept for the last man with an eye.
"

i don't know. i used to get bullied and it changed my opinion on that tell i told one kid to shut the f up and punched him in the face. but i see what you mean. you can't just do massive voilence but u shouldn't be allowing them to do this. stand up for yourself. as soon as ur tough dude ur rep will start to change. and as much as i hate to say thtis as many ppl u stand up to and have to fight MAYBE the better ur rep will be. toughies.

haha lets rock this world.
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Opposing force
19
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 10th Aug 2005
Location: England
Posted: 12th Jul 2007 11:43
Link
Oh dear. I really feel sorry for you mate. Ages ago back when I was at school, I got bullied. When I was in year 10 (4th year), 10th grade etc, There was this lesson that I really dreaded going to. There was this stupid boy who (like Code Dragon said) pretended he was gay and he always followed me around in this lesson and said well, gay things to me. I didn't like this and it really annoyed me and affected my school work. The worst thing was, another boy and one of my friends were sitting behind me and they used to pick on me, taunting me about that gay boy. Also that other boy used to smack me with a ruler and stab me in the arm with a compass point. I just took all this crap for a long time.

Then, in the summer term close to the end of year 10, I tried something. When this gay person wasn't annoying me (as he sometimes did) I smacked him across the head with a ruler and said "bother". That friend who was sitting behind me found this amusing and he forgot about winding me up and joined in. So in a way I started to bully the bully, except I knew when I would stop. One day he got really mad, stood up and dropping the gay act, he said "STOP @#$*"£) hitting me or I'll knock you out!" This was funny and both me and my friend laughed, and that was the end of him pretending to be gay.

But, that's only one bridge crossed. That other boy who used to annoy me (compass needle) carried on with his "campaign". I avoided him as much as I could but just his manner, appearence, attitude and the fact that he existed made me feel so sick. I used to fantasize about killing him and picturing a typical school lesson with him, and thinking about how I could cause as much pain as possible upon that useless excuse for a human being. But the year soon ended so I enjoyed what little time I had away from him.

Then, when I returned to the school as a year 11 pupil, he carried on hurting me. Then one day I flipped and sunk my fist into his stomach and knocked the wind out of him. He didn't bother me again and I was happy. So year 11 ended and I only ever got trouble from the chavs but what can you do about them? It wasn't personal with them.

When I was in sixth form, I didn't get any hassle what so ever. We all got along well and did our work, and all the prats were gone. Only the lower school annoyed us, but being in sixth form we were senior to them so we could have just given them a detention or something.

Father Tree, the only advice I can give you is to find a way to get back at them. Your situation sounds a lot like what I had to put up with when I was at school. Try getting one of them whilst they're by themselves, and try something. The answer to your problem is somewhere. Good luck, and all the best. I hope this stops soon for you.

Sign up today!
http://teammegabasic.proboards59.com
Back to top
Profile PM
Seppuku Arts
Moderator
20
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 18th Aug 2004
Location: Cambridgeshire, England
Posted: 12th Jul 2007 12:06
Link
Gah I hate friends like that, I used to get bullied, 'Cat p**s boy' was my nickname because I have a lot of cats - most of them were chavs, I ignored it, it never went away, I got called it right up until the end of year 11 - sixth form, the chavs are too dumb to get in and there are only decent people. One thing to remember when they're doing it, you're better than them and one day, they'll get their just deserts, one of mine did, he's going to be in jail for 3 years. Funnily enough, this isn't too different from my situation, it actually started from people in my form tutor and my friends played their bit - I was so p**sed off with my friends and their treatment of bme, even the one who had been my best friend since we were 5, I ditchrd them, thought 'sod you mate, I'm getting some new friends' and I did. That's one thing you should do when your friends bully you - just say 'adios'. For the others, some people will say 'tell a teacher' to be honest, teachers can't stop bullying - lunch time and after-school detentions don't deter people and just winds them up. So what do you do? May parent's advice was actually violence - it solved my sister's problem, it solved my brother's problem, but is it really the right thing to do? Or even the wise thing to do if they can kick the crap out of you. Though there are occasions I did use violence, not the chavs, but my old friends, one, he kept kicking me, so everytime he kicked me I decided to catch his leg and knock him onto his back, he soon stopped, when he punched me, I punched him harder. When two of my old friends thought they come to wind me up, one tried jumping up to get me in a strangle hold, I threw him over my shoulder and a teacher saw it - though I managed to blag my way out of it. But with the chavs, though not so tough individually (the tough people in our years tended to be the more friendly level headed ones), but hardly an answer when most real bullies don't hunt alone. Plus violence is wrong and can get you into trouble.

Really, you can stick up for yourself, but don't do it in a provokative way, heck don't act in such a way that they can target you with, bullies tend to act against those that have something that makes them targetable - even personality features. Something I would have said 'Hey man that's not cool' and would have walked away, though like I said I completely ignored them or laughed with them. Some will stop when they see you for the decent person you are and if you're calm and non-hostile in attitude towards them, whilst having a back bone, if the bullies have any decency, they will soften up to you - a few of mine softened up to me realising 'hey he's not so bad after all'.

Also, violence still can be an answer, though I said I wouldn't for the main ones, but you know when someone hits you and you hit them back, they're gonna learn, that they're not going to be able to do it without getting hurt and target someone else. Though the risk there is starting a fight and having his friends gang up on you - though I suppose there is the saying 'no pain no gain' - losing a fight with a group could be a sympathesisor, my friend was in one, remained dignity by stepping out with a huge grin on his face (that was priceless, he beat the crap out of the guy that started it, but it was the patheticness of his friends that put a smile on his face, despite the blood and bruises). Though I don't know how dangerous your bullies are, I mean if they're like the kids in gangs from south london - violence could lead to bigger problems.

Basically that's my experience on the matter, your situation may differ and I'm not saying these are solutions, but something you may consider and avoid my mistakes.

Support the return of Cow-Fishing! Hook up Paris Hilton and die!
Back to top
Profile PM Website
Fallout
22
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 1st Sep 2002
Location: Basingstoke, England
Posted: 12th Jul 2007 14:46
Link
I think Jess described a bunch of bullies who are fighters. That's the point us violence supporters are trying to make! (Well me at least).

If you're fighters, you can't smack em, because that'll make it worse. You can only hit em if they're immature muppets picking on you because they think you're weak. If they're routinely in fights, it aint gonna work. If they dont get into fights and they just hit people occasionally and bully them, smack them in the mouth.

Quote: "Hate to be the party pooper but if you do punch one of them and they crack their head on the floor they could die. Then you'd be in a right pickle"


This is totally true. There are plenty of cases of people being hit once, not especially hard, and dying. Either they hit their head as they fall down, or they're just really unlucky. You can also easily break someones jaw, knock out teeth, detach a retina etc. Not good.

Punches to the guts are highly underrated. You can make people feel so sick they puke, and not be able to get up for half an hour (wouldn't recommend hitting them that hard). Also, if you wanna get really street nasty, square up to them and head butt them on the nose. Watch it go splat. There's no defense. Then a crouching uppercut into the solar plexus as they reel away.

Ok, over the top, but my point is, if they're not fighters, smacking them back is the best way to get their respect. And it's not lowering yourself to their level. It's a necessary evil, as are all conflicts where the good guy has to own the bad guy to restore peace.


Back to top
Profile PM
Jess T
Retired Moderator
21
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 20th Sep 2003
Location: Over There... Kablam!
Posted: 12th Jul 2007 15:00
Link
Well, I got both verbal and physical abuse. The verbal was all through the day, then the physical started after school.

Honestly, the verbal was much, much worse. It was relentless, and like I said, noone would do anything about it. I've had teachers laugh at me for telling them, or asking for help.

The physical hurt like hell, but then again, it only hurt for a little amount of time.
Still, don't be violent, it's not a good trait to have, but if it's a last resort, then... I can understand.

Nintendo DS & Dominos :: DS Dominos
http://jt0.org
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Seppuku Arts
Moderator
20
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 18th Aug 2004
Location: Cambridgeshire, England
Posted: 12th Jul 2007 15:19
Link
To be honest, I have only been violent in response to violence that is done to me, as Father Tree's problem has violence in it, violence is a solution, of course you should never deliver the first blow. Verbal abuse is terrible - its funny how people in the world say 'don't take any notice, they're only words, don't let it get to you' when in fact it's not that easy and it does get to you. And of course violence should generally be a last resort, but in my family it has become a general truth that it is the only thing that works - but only can work when someone hits you first.

For verbal abuse, there is no advice other than sticking up for yourself. One thing that did me some justice was to beat one of the tough guys at an arm wrestle (he one right handed, I won left handed), play knuckles (both kinds, the coin one and the punching one) even after my knuckles bleed, I think this goes back to someone point of showing that you're not weak.

Of course when sticking up for yourself, only speak when you have something smart to say when doing it, if you say something that they can use against, they will, one guy in my year would tell his bullies to 'f off' and when they tried to argue with him, he'd say the stupidist things that would provoke them.

Support the return of Cow-Fishing! Hook up Paris Hilton and die!
Back to top
Profile PM Website
Sly D
22
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 15th Oct 2002
Location:
Posted: 12th Jul 2007 16:29
Link
What you should seriously try to do is find a group of friends that like you and where you feel like the leader, alpha male. This is something you should really consider, always be the alpha man it will help you even later in life. When someone tries to bring your status down, just laugh it off, take it as a general joke and not something directed at you personally. Later you can repay it when you're with your friends.

Generally try to be more outgoing, hang out with people more, rev up your social status, try to make FRIENDS with a few hot girls. Try to get on people's good sides you know do NOT bring up nerdy topics, educate yourself a little bit about football, cars, ladies, go out more. It is something that anyone can do but it does take some effort. You might not be able to do all of this right now, you might have better chances next year, if you start afresh.

Hope this helps even a little bit, and although I have not been bullied (that does not exist in my country, the worst you can get is someone making jokes about you not a big deal) I know what it feels like, this all takes toll on your self-confidence. Keep it up man, you can do ti.

Relax, I understand j00!
Back to top
Profile PM
Dared1111
18
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 25th Oct 2006
Location:
Posted: 12th Jul 2007 16:29
Link
My friend responded with shouting and violence and all he got was the bullies trying to annoy him to see his face go proper red...

Ignore them and they wont bother...

I get bullied because im ginger and i have glasses... I dont fight back either...

Your signature has been erased by a mod because it was too big
Back to top
Profile PM Website
Zaibatsu
18
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 1st May 2006
Location: Lost in Thought
Posted: 12th Jul 2007 17:31
Link
Quote: "Because I don't hit girls"


I never have, but i sure as hell would if one hit me first.

"I admire its purity, a survivor, unclouded by conscience, remorse, or delusions of morality"

Back to top
Profile PM Email
Chenak
22
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 13th Sep 2002
Location: United Kingdom
Posted: 12th Jul 2007 17:40
Link
Laugh in their faces and walk off. Ignoring does not work at all. If they try to use violence then beat the crap into them, but only so much as to completely humiliate them.

Take some jujitsu classes, some of the things you learn there are very fun. You can put them in a simple wrist lock then drag them around a bit until they cry. And I mean they will literally cry if you do it right, it is such a painful technique and it doesn't take that much strength to pull them off. Then only the stupid bullies will try to come after you.

Tai chi is a very good martial art, depending on if you can actually find someone who can teach you the more violent and traditional version. It does involve a LOT of pain though, and it takes a long time to get though the basics. You also have to learn the movements.
Back to top
Profile PM
Grandma
18
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 26th Dec 2005
Location: Norway, Guiding the New World Order
Posted: 12th Jul 2007 18:31
Link
Tai-chi is awesome, it's not about offense, but rather defense. You learn lots of nice counter-attacks in tai-chi, nicely suited for bullied people.

Being insane, old, commie, gay and stupid is just my DBP forum image, in reality i'm somewhat normal. Altough friends and family would disagree.
Back to top
Profile PM Email
Trinity Pictures
18
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 10th Nov 2006
Location: Leesburg, VA
Posted: 12th Jul 2007 19:49
Link
Quote: "w00t! Finally, another who likes the Chuck Norris jokes. "

Hey, man. Everyone loves Chuck jokes. Check out chucknorrisfacts.com !

Artist/Modellor of Encrypto Studios
Back to top
Profile PM Email Website
Mr X
19
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 25th Sep 2005
Location: Universe, milkyway, sol-system, Earth...
Posted: 12th Jul 2007 21:27
Link
It's hard to say what to do. Every situation is different. But one thing. Voilence should not be used as the first solution to a problem. Never ever. First try to ignore them. Then if that does not work, and it seems it hasn't, then try something else. But if it nothing works... just break their cheek and they may stop. Just keep in mind that people are different, and even though most bullies actually are cowards on the inside, some will just get more angry. And that can make things worse.

Anyway, do NEVER EVER let them get to you. I know it's hard, I've been there myself, but you must never surrender. That will just speed them up. Also keep in mind that all they do is to prove to the world how pathetic they are. They are just not woth an reaction (with that I don't meen that you should accept what they do, that is something you should never do, but that you should not let them get to you). Stand for who you are, no matter what they say or do.

Also, I belive that martial arts is a good idea. Not to become an invincible champion, but because it will make your mind stronger. Becoming better to defend yourself is just an side-effect . Martial arts was the only thing that kept me going when I was in school, so I definatly recommend it.

And about you thinking people gives you dirty looks, I don't think they do. It's just your imagination. When I was in school, it was pretty much the same (just that I didn't think people gave me dirty looks, I thought they hated me). But they didn't.

Stand up, man. I'm on your side. We all are.
Take care.
Back to top
Profile PM Email
Father Tree
17
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 19th Nov 2006
Location: England - Plympton
Posted: 12th Jul 2007 22:28
Link
thank you all for all your comments i feel that they have really helped.
But what happens is they do what Seppuku said but instead of cats they say i smell of dog all the time, but most of the time they are nice but its like 3 out of 5 days that they make fun of me, i wasnt at school today cus' i was sick in the morning so they couldnt make fun but next time they do i will try to put in your adivce thanks to all of you

Best

Add me if you got Xbox live please -_-
Back to top
Profile PM
Seppuku Arts
Moderator
20
Years of Service
User Offline
Joined: 18th Aug 2004
Location: Cambridgeshire, England
Posted: 12th Jul 2007 23:23
Link
My friends were nice a lot of the time, hence I was able to come back to them, but what they did really peed me off, so I grew a spine and stood my ground by ditching them. As for them say you smell of dog, someone may tell you 'a really clean and tidy look and lots of deodorant works' - it doesn't normally, though those who feel sorry for you will try to use that to break the attention from you, one drama lesson, one of the girls came to me, sniffed and said 'he smells quite nice' though it never caught on as this so-called smell they've given you, though it doesn't exist, is a means for them to pick on you whilst evading the real reason.

Whatever advice you feel best to take, I hope it works best for you.

Support the return of Cow-Fishing! Hook up Paris Hilton and die!
Back to top
Profile PM Website
Back to top

Login to post a reply

Server time is: 2024-11-18 23:28:52
Your offset time is: 2024-11-18 23:28:52