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Geek Culture / [STICKY] The Posting Competition

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Insert Name Here
18
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Location: Worcester, England
Posted: 21st Jan 2010 22:28 Edited at: 21st Jan 2010 22:29
Edit: This post was meant for Sep, who has since edited his post, and then been posted after 3 times.

[center]Literally nobody who isn't a retard is talking about 2012. -Drew Cameron
Zeus
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Location: Atop Mount Olympus
Posted: 21st Jan 2010 22:30
Oh yeah?!

Yo mama’s teeth are so yellow… I can’t believe it’s not butter!
Yo mama so stupid… she puts cheese by her computer to feed the mouse.
Yo Mama is so UGLY… when she jumped in the bath, the water jumped out.

Seppuku Arts
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Posted: 21st Jan 2010 22:32 Edited at: 21st Jan 2010 22:33
Quote: "No god mods."


What? But Thor IS a god! He owes me one after losing his temper one too many times and smashing my XBox with his mighty hammer just because he sucks at Halo. (If you don't have a clue what I'm on about, read my blog - see what I did there?)

Quote: ".... And die soon after from the mighty serpent's poison?"


Thor has to wait until Ragnarok before that happens, he's got plenty of time, I mean 2012 isn't for another 2 years yet.

[I edited because the pic wouldn't show]

Yodaman Jer
User Banned
Posted: 21st Jan 2010 22:33


You jerk! How DARE you say such things about my mother!!!

Oh wait...you were talking about YOUR mom. I see. Clever. Here's a Linux for your effort:


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Zeus
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Posted: 21st Jan 2010 22:35
If I could rearrange the alphabet, I’d put U and I together.

Happy Cheesecake
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Posted: 21st Jan 2010 22:35


Yodaman Jer
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Posted: 21st Jan 2010 22:37
How explicitly immature.


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Zeus
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Posted: 21st Jan 2010 22:40
*gasp*

Shame on you HC!

Happy Cheesecake
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Posted: 21st Jan 2010 22:49
Ha, if you thought that was bad (not really sure you did or not, because I didn't in the least) check out my favorite one.

http://www.explosm.net/db/files/Comics/Rob/elephantitis.png

Made it so you can choose to see it or not. Don't want you to get offended or anything.

Zeus
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Posted: 21st Jan 2010 22:54 Edited at: 21st Jan 2010 22:54
Double Pointz!

lazerus
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Posted: 21st Jan 2010 22:55
Currently preparing counter measures, the base is open for attack by anyone if you feel up to it

Zeus
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Posted: 21st Jan 2010 22:58
I attack the base with a massive machine gun!


+ =

Happy Cheesecake
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Posted: 21st Jan 2010 23:00
So many posts, I can't keep up.

Insert Name Here
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Posted: 21st Jan 2010 23:05
This is steadily becoming more and more inappropriate.

[center]Literally nobody who isn't a retard is talking about 2012. -Drew Cameron
lazerus
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Posted: 21st Jan 2010 23:08 Edited at: 21st Jan 2010 23:24
Uses advanced forward recon to tag machine gunners location.



Locked on target for bombardment.



Your turn.

Two posts to create counter measures or posistion will be dstroyed.

( 2 posts to use any counter measure)

Zeus
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Posted: 21st Jan 2010 23:25
I call in an airstrike and your artillery is destroyed, my snipers kill the men targeted on my machine gunners.

lazerus
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Posted: 21st Jan 2010 23:33 Edited at: 21st Jan 2010 23:37
Heavy mechanised AA Relives you of your aircraft.



Loses Artillery and retrives one man from forward squad

Insert Name Here
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Posted: 21st Jan 2010 23:36


/nuke and forget.

[center]Literally nobody who isn't a retard is talking about 2012. -Drew Cameron
Zeus
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Posted: 21st Jan 2010 23:40
Sends in Navy SEALs, they secretly assume the aliases as your own men and plant a bomb in the base.

lazerus
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Posted: 21st Jan 2010 23:41 Edited at: 21st Jan 2010 23:44
NUKE INNEFECTIVE



Navy seals deteced and eliminated after losing a turret substation

Zeus
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Posted: 21st Jan 2010 23:46
Asks for negotiation of peace.

lazerus
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Posted: 21st Jan 2010 23:50
Interesting plan, but you have other motives, Accepts under the condition you help Destroy the annonomus INH organisation that tried to nuke me.

Keeps one eye on you.

Negotions are outside of the base, lay out your terms. Blood shed will be met by support bombarment on the position, my men do not fear death.

Yodaman Jer
User Banned
Posted: 21st Jan 2010 23:53
Quote: "This is steadily becoming more and more inappropriate."


I concur. I'd leave, but it's the only place to go to be random. *sigh*

MUDKIPZZZ


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lazerus
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Posted: 22nd Jan 2010 00:11
Neuro Fuzzy
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Posted: 22nd Jan 2010 00:14


at first I was like OMGWTF



but apparently its two camel spiders holding onto eachother. Google searches yield that camel spiders have no venom, but are strong, run at ~10 mph, and seek out shade, so when you're walking, it'll follow your shadow (not you, but it's often misconceived as so).

I'm an expert naughow!


Happy Cheesecake
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Posted: 22nd Jan 2010 00:22
Wait, you'd really leave over a poop joke? Seriously? Come on, it isn't that bad, I've heard ten times worse out of my own parents' mouth just the last hour. And if it was too graphic for you, then all I have to say is: They're just stick people. And I'm usually pretty good when it comes to deciphering whether some was inappropriate, and I'll agree it was, but to a certain extent. And that extent is pretty low. I mean, if you want me to remove it, then I will, but don't you think your moral standing on this is just a tad too strict?

Neuro Fuzzy
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Posted: 22nd Jan 2010 00:30
wait what are you talking about?


Happy Cheesecake
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Posted: 22nd Jan 2010 00:34
Not you, Neuro, I just didn't refresh the page as often as I should. Talking to CoffeeCoder.

Neuro Fuzzy
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Posted: 22nd Jan 2010 00:40
Oh, ok, have a thingy


Zeus
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Posted: 22nd Jan 2010 01:10 Edited at: 22nd Jan 2010 01:16
I agree to your conditions Lazerus. We shall eliminate the INH organization forever!!!


Quote: "Wait, you'd really leave over a poop joke? Seriously? Come on, it isn't that bad, I've heard ten times worse out of my own parents' mouth just the last hour. And if it was too graphic for you, then all I have to say is: They're just stick people. And I'm usually pretty good when it comes to deciphering whether some was inappropriate, and I'll agree it was, but to a certain extent. And that extent is pretty low. I mean, if you want me to remove it, then I will, but don't you think your moral standing on this is just a tad too strict?"


I think that is up to CC, not you HC, not everyone has your moral standards no matter how right you think yours are.

Venge
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Posted: 22nd Jan 2010 01:13
I am posting a post about a post.

The above statement is not unfalse.

I will live forever or die trying.
My game blog
Yodaman Jer
User Banned
Posted: 22nd Jan 2010 01:14
No no no, I just meant that the immaturity level of this thread is getting ridiculous. I wasn't targetting anything at you HC, I was just saying that's shocking what gets through sometimes.


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Zeus
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Posted: 22nd Jan 2010 01:17
I have to say I may agree with CoffeeCoder, but where else can we release our child self? The boards are too strict here lately...

Omega gamer 89
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Posted: 22nd Jan 2010 01:27
Quote: "Rules of play are simple, you are allowed to take turns after the next person. No god mods."

hehehe... excellent.
1) My fortress is equipped with a moat 800 feet deep, 5 miles in radius, and 800 feet in width. I drain the water out of my moat and refill it with a specially concentrated acid which dissolves any and all matter not treated with another chemical which has been formulated to resist the acid.
2) I release mines (which have been treated with my acid-resistant chemical and are tethered to the moat's bottom) into the moat, electrify the acid, and activate the moat agitators, which keep the contents of the moat circulating at approximately 80 miles per hour.
3) Erect a series of 4 electric fences around the inside of the moat, each 40 feet tall and spaced 10 feet apart.
4) I release a paralyzing nerve gas into all enemy bases, in the following order: Lazerus, Zeus, Insert name Here. Said nerve gas causes total paralysis, followed by blindness, and finally coma. This all lasts approximately 12 hours, or until an antidote is administered.
5) My troops infiltrate all three enemy bases simultaneously, securing all enemy forces and placing them in holding cells to deal with them later.

If there is a limit to how many actions may be taken in a given turn, then I perform the actions in the following order until all my actions for the turn are used up: 4,5,3,1,2.
If there is no limit, I perform all actions in the order given.

So what if I talk to myself? Its the only way i can have an intelligent conversation around here.
Neuro Fuzzy
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Posted: 22nd Jan 2010 02:24
nice fence omega gamer, but couldn't one simply cat bus into your door?


Omega gamer 89
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Posted: 22nd Jan 2010 02:33
Quote: "nice fence omega gamer, but couldn't one simply cat bus into your door?"

No. One could not, because cat busing is not a real world technology, and is thus God modding. Cat busing is obviously not physically possible in the real world. If it is not possible in the real world, it is god modding.

So what if I talk to myself? Its the only way i can have an intelligent conversation around here.
Neuro Fuzzy
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Posted: 22nd Jan 2010 02:54 Edited at: 22nd Jan 2010 02:58
what about airplanes and nukes?

[edit]

or how about a laser reflected from a satellite directly into the center of your base where you are sitting?

[edit2]

or a massive swarm of nanobots?

[edit3]

or a crack team of ninjas?

[edit4]

or chuck norris?


Omega gamer 89
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Posted: 22nd Jan 2010 07:07
Quote: "what about airplanes and nukes?"

If an enemy attempted to fly any aircraft over my base and/or attempt to drop a nuke or other destructive device from said aircraft, both the former and the latter would be destroyed by anti-aircraft weaponry.
Quote: "or how about a laser reflected from a satellite directly into the center of your base where you are sitting?"

Any satellites that are not mine or my allies' would be destroyed upon entering orbit over my base(s). Besides, who said I was in the base with the acid moat and the fences? I MIGHT be there, but I also might be in one of my 941 other known military bases. (I wont even go into detail about the secret hidden ones.)
Quote: "or a massive swarm of nanobots?"

Nanobots would be destroyed by the moat of acid. If the attempted to assail the base from the air, I have an EMP generator that could fry their circuitry in an instant.
Quote: "or a crack team of ninjas?"

Even ninjas are not immune to the acid, much less the electrified acid, much MUCH less the electrified acid swirling around at 80 MPH with mines in it. And again, any airborne assault would be met with anti-aircraft weaponry.
Quote: "or chuck norris?"

Chuck Norris is the epitome of God Modding. Besides, what makes you think Chuck Norris would ally himself with ANY of us mere mortals? Chuck Norris is above the meaningless wars of mortals.

So what if I talk to myself? Its the only way i can have an intelligent conversation around here.
Venge
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Posted: 22nd Jan 2010 14:58



I will live forever or die trying.
My game blog
Seppuku Arts
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Location: Cambridgeshire, England
Posted: 22nd Jan 2010 15:49
Is it a roll, a cob or a bap?

lazerus
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Posted: 22nd Jan 2010 19:06 Edited at: 22nd Jan 2010 19:18
You would think that it would be that easy to simply infiltrate 'My' base? You were right.

Corpses litter the floor of the base, nothing more than skeltons remain of most. I coldly watch from the CCtv cameras as your army advances into the abandoned base.
Sir Coder? thier something wrong here, thier all dead all of them, they look like they've been here for months, all of them just, dead.

Who would do such a thing?

A crackle signals the intercomms around the base waking up.

Welcome to your grave gentlemen. Do give my regards to grandmas' staff, you will be joining them monmentarily.

Sir Its a-



Base destroyed Killing 90% of your men.

Sir Coder, *cough* they enemy has detonated a tactical nuke at thier base. Forward advance and most of the echilon are dead.

Coder You Listening? Its Lazerus. I have a present for you, Look up for me.

Target traced, sub layer locked in.

Wave Coherent- Feedback all in the green, No interfrence deteced, Resontation is at 100% Firing



Omega gamer 89
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Posted: 22nd Jan 2010 22:59
Quote: "You would think that it would be that easy to simply infiltrate 'My' base? You were right."

Well, seeing as I had released a paralyzing nerve gas, disabling all personnel, yes. It would have been that easy even if everyone hadn't been dead already. Oh yes, I knew about it.
(My forces, over hyper-encrypted radio communication channel) "Lord Omega, we've secured the files. All data has been transmitted to you and secured in triplicate in all backup facilities."
(me) "Excellent work troops. All forces begin full mind wipe and auto destruct immediately.
Quote: "A crackle signals the intercomms around the base waking up."

Why THANK YOU Lazerus.
*Tracing signal back to source*
*Source located, all weapons locked on target*
*Launching target seeking smart missiles. T-minus 30 seconds until impact.*
Quote: "Base destroyed Killing 90% of your men. "

Thanks again. You saved me the trouble of nuking the place myself when I was done. As for killing 90% of my forces, you only killed 90% of my forces who were in THAT base. (The forces in that base comprised less than 0.002% of my total forces) And 100% of those forces were fully robotic recon units.
*T-minus 20 seconds.*
Quote: "Sir Coder, *cough* they enemy has detonated a tactical nuke at thier base. Forward advance and most of the echilon are dead. "

Im not sure what that was. All of my forces in that base were already wiped of all data and auto-destructed long before your nuke was detonated.
Quote: "Coder You Listening? Its Lazerus. I have a present for you, Look up for me.

Target traced, sub layer locked in.

Wave Coherent- Feedback all in the green, No interfrence deteced, Resontation is at 100% Firing"

... who is Sir coder? I'm Omega. Lazerus, did you just attack CoffeeCoder's country without provocation? CoffeeCoder, I think Lazerus has just declared war on you. If this is indeed the case, then join me and we shall make his defeat all the more painful. Do not think I have forgotten the days you ran as my vice president. Our nations have long been allies. Relief support is already on its way to help your people.

Now then...
Impact in 3... 2... 1...
Impact confirmed. Enemy deep orbital strike unit destroyed.
Strike units 000000800000 through 000055630000 begin full assault of all base locations obtained during infiltration of abandoned base.
EMP shields to full capacity.
Wave disruptors to 100%.
Communications Jamming on.
Advance units, fire pulse cannons and disable all enemy equipment.

Check.
Your move Lazerus.
And in the future, (not that you have a future) you may want to delete the data from your abandoned bases.
Oh, and dont try any "those bases are all empty, too" or "they're all diversions" crap.
I've verified the validity of all the data in the files.
Scout teams have confirmed the continued occupancy of all targeted bases.
Oh, and don't forget that all of your equipment is completely fried. My pulse cannons shorted out every last piece of technology in every last one of your bases. All you've got left is sticks and rocks.

Like I said, Check.

So what if I talk to myself? Its the only way i can have an intelligent conversation around here.
Insert Name Here
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Posted: 22nd Jan 2010 23:05
I'm incredibly confused already.

[center]Literally nobody who isn't a retard is talking about 2012. -Drew Cameron
Melancholic
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Posted: 22nd Jan 2010 23:32
ive allways been confused.........
lazerus
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Posted: 22nd Jan 2010 23:45 Edited at: 22nd Jan 2010 23:48
You took your time, I was growing increasingly bored with your tiresom toys.

It is time...



Sir Coder? Have you made contact? IS the rift is stable?

*Broken transmission amid the security alarms and flurring personal* All readings on the sub waves are clear. Its, its beautiful.



Laz they have your remitance ready, are they okay to start?

Begin the process at thier discression, I have plenty of time.

Omega my friend, they have traveled for hundreds of years, crossed the Sub Beta waves themsevles to get here, rejoice in what little time you have. The Adgio have arrived, my bretherin are home.

Next turn is locked to Sir Coder.

Neuro Fuzzy
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Posted: 22nd Jan 2010 23:50
[b][/b]


Omega gamer 89
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Posted: 23rd Jan 2010 00:58 Edited at: 23rd Jan 2010 01:01
Quote: "Sir Coder?"

Again, who is sir coder? If you are referring to CoffeeCoder, he has been allied with me for years. Besides, you said in your last turn that you deep orbit strike unit had ATTACKED Sir Coder. Why would he work with you after you just attacked him?
Quote: "*Broken transmission amid the security alarms and flurring personal* All readings on the sub waves are clear. Its, its beautiful."

Yeah. No they're not. Remember, in my last turn I said:
Quote: "EMP shields to full capacity.
Wave disruptors to 100%.
Communications Jamming on.
Advance units, fire pulse cannons and disable all enemy equipment.
"

So your communications are Jammed. You did not get, and could not have gotten, a transmission of any kind from anyone, anywhere.
Also, my wave distruptors will cancel out any and all wave transmissions of any kind. Whoever your brethren are, they're not getting here anytime soon. In fact, if they were already en route through the waves when I activated my disruptors, they are now trapped there for all eternity. When the waveforms collapsed due to my disruptors, both their exit to our world and they're route back home were closed of forever.
And in case you'v forgotten, my pulse cannons fried ALL of your equipment. So you have no radios, no wave generators, no weaponry beyond sticks and stones, and no hope.

You're obviously bluffing, anyone could see that. All the actions you just supposedly took, EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM, are not possible in your current situation.
Your communications are jammed, so there's no way you could get a transmission from Sir coder. (Not to mention the fact it makes no sense that he would be working with you when you just blasted him from space.)
The readings from the sub waves are NOT clear, due to my wave disruptors.
You do NOT "have plenty of time". In case you hadn't noticed, all of your forces are defenseless (Pulse knocked out ALL your tech) cannons and being wiped out as we speak.
Your brethren are NOT home. In fact, you appear to have doomed them to eternity in limbo. Trapped halfway between the wave points forevermore.
Next turn is NOT locked to sir coder.
First off, who are you to make that decision? This is war, my friend. You can't just tell you enemies they have to wait for your allies to make a move. And again, WHO IS SIR CODER? CoffeeCoder has long since been MY ally And if you ARE referring to CofeeCoder as Sir Coder,you just attacked him!
However, since you didn't really make any moves in your turn, (they were all impossible due to the actions of my previous turn) I will not make any moves until you take some VALID actions.

So what if I talk to myself? Its the only way i can have an intelligent conversation around here.
lazerus
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Posted: 23rd Jan 2010 01:50 Edited at: 23rd Jan 2010 01:58
How very nieave of you... To think you could simply jam the Beta waveform. Your thinking in only 3 dimensions, the wavefrom spans across all living entites and connects us all together, you cannot simple cut the connections or block the awakened. Your advanced forces, ground troops air dominace are all serving as a relay system, you are sending my communication, you are and that is why you can hear this, not even in a whisper in your ear but its there and you, you will be the reason i win.

Out of curiosity, Who said that the deep orbit strike was hostile to Sir Coder? I never once said it was an attack... You assumed that fact and so focused all your attention onto me. Leaving the rift to grow, Your outdated technology is useless, coder has been an ally long before the wars and so has given me all your designs, even afrer the point i let you think i killed him...

The Ecm Shieldings cover the base on a mutating beta waveform. You have no effect on on my operational status.

You have yet to understand the the most basic forms of thier technology and principles.

There awaiting for me, My Acension cannot me stopped and so i will be reborn anew in the rift and a body created to hold my conciousness.

You have simply coughed at the Hurricane and expected it to move.

Im leaving you a present, check your subterrain maps of the area, you never once questioned this bases location. This area lies on the north eastern fault line. If i were to say, drop a 12MgT nuclear warhead? the resulting force would anhilate the entire Erasian plate turing the land to molten lava beds.

Lets bring about the new world my friend...

My soul will be purified by the explosion, and the rift will swallow my conciousness and create me whole.

Check Mate...



Venge
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Posted: 23rd Jan 2010 02:39
Wow. I just noticed that the "Life-long Dreams" thread was locked, so I had to read through it (hadn't even looked at it before). Yeesh.

Also, 13,699.


I will live forever or die trying.
My game blog
lil marioman
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Posted: 23rd Jan 2010 02:39
Mega Super Special Awesome Points!...
...

...


Woot.



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