Hello all, a word from your local deity, yes, me, Seppuku. I served under the office of the great Rock (of the Matt variety) dealing with all things Viking, and I must say whilst under Matt's reign of terror did you once see Ragnorok occur? No, I think you did not. Did ice giants send the earth into a frozen wasteland? Again, that's a no. Has Loki run amok? Well, he did on one occasion, this is Loki we're talking about, but only one OAP was hurt. Has Thor ran all your beer supplies and harassed all your women? I think you find not, well, except maybe he did once - but really, want can you do about a god who wields a giant hammer of mighty power...er that's not a euphemism. You see I have worked very closely with our brothers of Asgard, our Nordic gods to ensure that these boards are safe from such dangers. But now, dark times are upon us my friends, for Matt's stepping down leaves a new threat open that hasn't prevailed for decades, yes folks, I am of course talking about...
Crab people.
Yes, crabs are people too and have every right to co-exist, but alas their voices have been suppressed for too long and if we don't seek a peaceful solution soon then we will see times worse than that of the FPSC famine of '63. You see we need our relationship with the Norse gods to bring us through dark times, to ensure that the crab people will either GTFO or to learn to co-exist. I will assign each moderator with a deity and I shall replace the ban-hammer with the mighty Mjollnir, hammer of the thunder god, Thor, no more will a ban deny you access to this forum, it will deny you entrance to the halls of Valhalla! No more will our miscreants face a mere newbslap, but a strike to the jaw with mighty fists of iron!
They say that Thor once took on the giants with great might and cunning and sacrificed everything to earn his title as a man amongst men, even sacrificing his masculinity to seduce the giant, Thrym, to only then strike him down with his mighty hammer...again not a euphemism. See him use his strength, see him use his smarts and together we shall see ALL trolls eradicated.
See now my friends, nay, brothers, a vote for Seppuku is not only a vote for victory, but also a vote for a better future.
What say you?
