This is a [FRIENDLY] greeting from S.M.I.L.E. industries.
Good afternoon [FRIENDS] I hope you are all {typo} [DEAD] {/typo}
Our most recent {VALUED EMPLOYEE] #75825 met an unfortunate termination of [WORK/LIFE] at the S.M.I.L.E industries testing facilities, and we are looking for a [SKILLED/MANIPULABLE] replacement. No specific job skills other than [BASIC SURVIVAL INSTINCTS] are required, and S.M.I.L.E. industries will accept any young people on work experience. So if you want to [ADD TO YOUR CV/SEE YOUR FAMILY ALIVE AGAIN] then send us a [BLOOD SAMPLE/CV] online.
If chosen, your employment duties will include:
>Participating in [FUN/STRENUOUSLY DANGEROUS] physical activities
>Ensuring the maintenance of your major bodily functions [BREATHING/MOVING,ETC.]
>Being very happy regardless of [PHRASE REMOVED]
Employment lasts until your body opts out.
Features (incomplete list):

Overcome massive environmental obstacles and hazards

Blast your way through single-player with a mix of concussive and lethal weaponry against relentless robotic foes

Mind-bending puzzles that push your logic to the limit

Discover the twisted tales of previous S.M.I.L.E. test subjects

Unravel the mystery and motives of S.M.I.L.E. industries

Explore an austere and deadly game world in dozens of test facilities

Optional hardcore mode for you masochists
More features will be added when I'm ready to reveal them.
Blog set up on IGN for development news and exclusive info:
http://blogs.ign.com/SMILE_industries/2009/05/31/121862/
Spewing crap since 2005!