This is a [FRIENDLY] greeting from S.M.I.L.E. industries.
Good afternoon [FRIENDS] I hope you are all {typo} [DEAD] {/typo}
Our most recent {VALUED EMPLOYEE] #75825 met an unfortunate termination of [WORK/LIFE] at the S.M.I.L.E industries testing facilities, and we are looking for a [SKILLED/MANIPULABLE] replacement. No specific job skills other than [BASIC SURVIVAL INSTINCTS] are required, and S.M.I.L.E. industries will accept any young people on work experience. So if you want to [ADD TO YOUR CV/SEE YOUR FAMILY ALIVE AGAIN] then send us a [BLOOD SAMPLE/CV] online.
If chosen, your employment duties will include:
>Participating in [FUN/STRENUOUSLY DANGEROUS] physical activities
>Ensuring the maintenance of your major bodily functions [BREATHING/MOVING,ETC.]
>Being very happy regardless of [PHRASE REMOVED]
Employment lasts until your body opts out.
Features (incomplete list):
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Overcome massive environmental obstacles and hazards
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Blast your way through single-player with a mix of concussive and lethal weaponry against relentless robotic foes
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Mind-bending puzzles that push your logic to the limit
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Discover the twisted tales of previous S.M.I.L.E. test subjects
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Unravel the mystery and motives of S.M.I.L.E. industries
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Explore an austere and deadly game world in dozens of test facilities
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Optional hardcore mode for you masochists
More features will be added when I'm ready to reveal them.
Blog set up on IGN for development news and exclusive info:
http://blogs.ign.com/SMILE_industries/2009/05/31/121862/
Spewing crap since 2005!