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Geek Culture / [LOCKED] i find it impossible too ask out people

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james hardy
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Posted: 12th Oct 2007 19:50
everyone hates me why???:
and why carnt i ask sumone out ive asked out like 9girls on msn they all sed no is that why im scared of rejection.
the funny thing is that im not ugly serouisly i dont know wat but people think im a retard too.
Benjamin
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Posted: 12th Oct 2007 19:54
Why are you asking a bunch of geeks?

Tempest (DBP/DBCe)
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Opposing force
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Posted: 12th Oct 2007 19:55
Quote: "Why are you asking a bunch of geeks?"


Cos he is one as well.

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james hardy
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Posted: 12th Oct 2007 19:55 Edited at: 12th Oct 2007 19:56
lol ye so i need help
KeithC
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Posted: 12th Oct 2007 19:55
You might want to try asking a girl out in person.

Benjamin
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Posted: 12th Oct 2007 19:56
But I would have said it's best to take advice from people that aren't geeks. If you want my expert advice I'd say don't ask people out over MSN.

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bitJericho
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Posted: 12th Oct 2007 19:58 Edited at: 12th Oct 2007 19:58
And if you asked all 9 girls out on the same day, I'd say you're definately trying way too hard.


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james hardy
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Posted: 12th Oct 2007 19:58 Edited at: 12th Oct 2007 20:02
i never really liked any of those girls its cuz i got rejected by this girl so i thought i would see who would go out with me lol and it seems like noone does except from the occasional ugly girl
but now i really like this girl tryed asking them out today but i just couldnt
Zotoaster
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Posted: 12th Oct 2007 20:05
Why does it always have to be about asking them out to make it official? Why not just flirt with them, if you like 'em you'll end up going out places, etc etc, and tada, you're going out.

"It's like floating a boat on a liquid that I don't know, but I'm quite happy to drink it if I'm thirsty enough" - Me being a good programmer but sucking at computers
Zombie 20
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Posted: 12th Oct 2007 20:07
Makes sense to me, besides what are you doing asking them out over the internet? You can do it in person can't you, we all have been down that path, sure its scary but then thats the fun of it, its like an adreanline rush..I know it can hurt when you're rejected but you're thinking of the bad, what if she says yes ya?

james hardy
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Posted: 12th Oct 2007 20:08 Edited at: 12th Oct 2007 20:15
ye thats true

i probly do need more self confidence
and i shouldnt care wat people think!lol
i gotta live life too full havnt i

o ye reson why people round my school think im retard
i think is just that i sound a bit dumb with my voice.....
is this bad
Zombie 20
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Posted: 12th Oct 2007 20:11
Now don't say that, there's someone for everyone mate, perhaps its just not your time to be with a woman, but trust me you'll see her one day and just know that she's the one. I guess thats the best way I can explain it.


Also, are you friends with any of these girls you asked out? Being friends is acutally the better option because one you both get to be close to one another and therefore ultimatly strenghten a possible relationship further down the line . Take me for example, one of my closest and best friends chels, we've liked each other for years now and never knew it, I was too afraid to ask her and now we're going out...long story, I won't bore you though I'd love to sit here and tell you the story .

Zotoaster
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Posted: 12th Oct 2007 20:13
Not just that. I think it's more important that you get her to like you rather than just say yes. Practice makes perfect works for everything

"It's like floating a boat on a liquid that I don't know, but I'm quite happy to drink it if I'm thirsty enough" - Me being a good programmer but sucking at computers
james hardy
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Posted: 12th Oct 2007 20:16
she is a nice personalitie so i think she wouldnt care if i sound bit retarded
bitJericho
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Posted: 12th Oct 2007 20:17 Edited at: 12th Oct 2007 20:18
Quote: "o ye reson why people round my school think im retard
i think is just that i sound a bit dumb with my voice.....
is this bad"


You sound a bit dumb with your typing too

(but sounding like a retard and being one are two different things, don't worry about it)


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james hardy
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Posted: 12th Oct 2007 20:19
lol


thanks jerico2day
MonoCoder
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Posted: 12th Oct 2007 20:21 Edited at: 12th Oct 2007 20:22
If you've gone through nine girls over msn trying to get them to go out with you, then consider the first step to having a girlfriend to be developing a better attitude towards girls.

EBA: A banner coming soon.
Then maybe a game.
Seppuku Arts
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Posted: 12th Oct 2007 20:23 Edited at: 12th Oct 2007 20:27
Please guys...no more 'teenage anxiety' problems here, we all get them, it's flipping puberty - just watch the Eddie Izzard joke on puberty - that'll explain everything to you.

Because I can sympathesise, I'll say what I can, you're nervous because you scared of making a fool out of yourself - but what results in making a fool of yourself...not much, you just get her in a quiet moment...

It isn't that easy is it? Of course it bloody isn't, you're a teenager, your hormones are freaking off the plot - basically, clear your mind, force your self by marching and keep one and only one focus and approach her with what you want only in your head. If other thoughts occur, get rid of them by coming to the conclusion that'll she'll say yes.

If she says no, big freaking deal, I mean the girl you like needs to like you back.

Of course you'd be taking advice from a person who never actually did it and because of the nerves turned into a complete idiot and peed her off once too many.

But just as a warning, if I see another 'Girlfriend' thread, I'm setting my Bees on everyone - this isn't the place for it, just think this is a geek forum, geeks have the worst experience with girls when they're teenagers.

[edit]
Take my attitude towards it there, then give back to me, say 1 1/2 years into the past and give it back

You say you asked them on MSN - not very romantic, actually it's the easy way out to asking my friend, but it isn't exactly an appealing asking out - you chat them up in person, get her smiling and happy then onto the asking out. The smiling and happy is the easy bit, especially if you're compatible - it just takes more confidence to get over the last bit.

The Rabi
james hardy
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Posted: 12th Oct 2007 20:23 Edited at: 12th Oct 2007 20:26
ye so monday im gonna do it
ask them out proply full confidence

thanks everyone

ill report back on the (bad) news
bitJericho
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Posted: 12th Oct 2007 20:27
Quote: "but wat sort of attitude do girls like?"


Asking nine different girls out on msn is creepy. You're supposed to look for a girl you like, not just any girl who will be willing to go out with you :o)


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Zotoaster
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Posted: 12th Oct 2007 20:28
Quote: "ill report back on the (bad) news "


IMHO, girls prefer a more optimistic view on it.

"It's like floating a boat on a liquid that I don't know, but I'm quite happy to drink it if I'm thirsty enough" - Me being a good programmer but sucking at computers
Grandma
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Posted: 12th Oct 2007 20:29
Quote: "but wat sort of attitude do girls like?"


Well, let's not start generalizing. Most seem to like confidence though. If you don't have much of that, then just act stubborn (that's easy). It's basically the same thing.

This message was brought to you by Grandma industries.

Making yesterdays games, today!
james hardy
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Posted: 12th Oct 2007 20:31
lol

that girl is in my maths anyways i could start flirting
wiht them
Seppuku Arts
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Posted: 12th Oct 2007 20:32
Quote: "but wat sort of attitude do girls like?"


Depends entirely on the girl - some like macho men with a rebellious attitude and sticks it to the law, others like the sweet quiet nervous guy...Most I've met like people who can make them laugh and are kind to them - aren't rude and is kind to others and has things in common with them.

Also, patience is a virtue, if you're going out desperate, you're going to get a girl more desperate - I've spent the last 6 years without a girlfriend and I'm happy, I blew it with the first girl I liked, but you can easily move on, because you meet several people in your life time and the right person for you will be met as long as you're pro-active and go out of your way to know people before asking them out.

The Rabi
5Louiz
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Posted: 12th Oct 2007 20:33
Quote: "i probly do need more self confidence"


Yes, mate. The text you posted before the edition confirms that. That is the kind of thought that makes a bad difference. You may care less about it and invest more time on yourself. Call your boys and dig a cool place to go to.. You will have fun anyway, even if you do not find a new girl in the first nights.

Actually, "KKK" sounds like laugh in our language. We do not support Ku Klux Klan. I would kill KKK if it was a man. Cheers.
james hardy
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Posted: 12th Oct 2007 20:35 Edited at: 12th Oct 2007 20:36
thing is tho i have no mates at all serously,and i have a reall rubbish rep
Osiris
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Posted: 12th Oct 2007 20:38
Stop thinking about it. Problems compound ten fold or more sitting in the brain.

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Zombie 20
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Posted: 12th Oct 2007 20:39
seppuku and grandma- I owe you guys drinks!

Zombie 20
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Posted: 12th Oct 2007 20:39
seppuku and grandma- I owe you guys drinks!

Zombie 20
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Posted: 12th Oct 2007 20:39
seppuku and grandma- I owe you guys drinks!

james hardy
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Posted: 12th Oct 2007 20:39


ye i am getting a bit paranoid.
Opposing force
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Posted: 12th Oct 2007 20:43
A good character is better than looks. It doesn't matter if you look good, people won't go out with you if you're too shy to ask them out. I should know . Boy's usually ask out girls, but when I was at school I got asked out a few times by girls (it's always fun to say no). Sorry.

http://www.freewebs.com/teammegabasic/
For low price FPSC and Dark BASIC media packs.
james hardy
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Posted: 12th Oct 2007 20:49
ye....and when there face just drops its funny
but that only happens too me with people who dont genrally know me as in year belows and stuff
Seppuku Arts
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Posted: 12th Oct 2007 20:49
Quote: "thing is tho i have no mates at all serously,and i have a reall rubbish rep"


Build it up, from year 8 - year 10 I had a crap rep, really I did because my school was full of chavs and metal heads tend not to do well in a crowd of morons, but you know, there's always a decent person out there to make friends with - you just need to be and stay a respectable person - never throw a hissy fit or anything like that or say anything really daft because it doesn't do you any good - just play your cool and people will soften up to you and you'll find those people good friends - of course like with girls, don't be desperate for friends because you'll pick up any old trash my friends were decent then become trash and they're no fun to be around.

I think the main thing decent friends will see is dignity, if you keep your dignity - you'll make them. Of course at the same time, look for people that are similar to you and try to start to make friends, by doing that I made friends pretty quickly here at Uni.

Generally the main things you need to survive puberty is 'dignity' and 'confidence' - I mean you can have loads of confidence but look like and arse with no dignity.

Look you've got me talking a lot now, God I was supposed to be annoyed with the idea of this thread, I'll let you off this time.

The Rabi
james hardy
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Posted: 12th Oct 2007 20:56
thanks seppuku arts



but after so long of not talking too many people i do find it hard too start conversation with people.



scarface

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demons breath
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Posted: 12th Oct 2007 21:02
I think you just need to find the right group of people to hang out with and be confident about who you are... I'm a slightly less than stable metalhead which kinda weirds out some people but all you need is to find a couple of people you get on well with (try going to different places and stuff) and you should get more confident with other people... Then you should be able to ask people out... It still weirds me out asking out people I really like and I'm practically an adult now (deliberately not saying my age cos it's against the AUP but it shouldn't take that much deduction ) but you just gotta get to know them and be yourself.

http://jamesmason01.googlepages.com/index.htm
james hardy
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Posted: 12th Oct 2007 21:05 Edited at: 12th Oct 2007 21:12
ye can you people please live my life youll do better job at it than me


o ye wat should i do that beutifull girl is in my maths???
should i start jumping on her desk or sumtin
Seppuku Arts
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Posted: 12th Oct 2007 21:14
Indeed, I have a friend like that.

This is weird...first time I've done a tutorial on how to talk to people...but here goes...

When I try to get to know new people, I greet them, ask them how they are, ask them if they like something - for example Heroes, Music, 24, Eastenders etc. I find music is the easy topic, usually it's easy to tell what music people like. Last friend I made, we were waiting for somebody to go in a room - usually an anecdote works to get the ball rolling - so saying in the situation I think I made a joke about students always queing up for a free lunch (as that was what we were waiting for) - usually if the other person is willing they'll give you a decent response. If not it may feel a bit awkward, but find something to talk about, say they pull out their phone ask something like 'Is that the latest nokia' - of course they need a new phone for that to work. If they look musically competent and look like they may listen to the same music, ask them about lets say 'Metallica', if they like that band, you can talk about them and their music - you can score extra points into the conversation if you've seen them live - then talk about that, the Download festival and Wacken festival are real conversation warmers are really great when the person has been there themselves.

Computer games also come in handy too, depending on the type of person as always, as do sports and TV, talk about Bioshock or something.

If it's conversation starting itself is the problem, I just greet people, ask them if they're okay and get the ball rolling from there with a question.

That's how most people do it, though normally it's second nature to get to know people, but I know people who need people to approach them first and then it's usually down to luck to get to know people.

The Rabi
james hardy
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Posted: 12th Oct 2007 21:17
cool thanks im gonna try that too sum random person



and metallica is a good band init
MonoCoder
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Posted: 12th Oct 2007 21:19
Quote: "o ye wat should i do that beutifull girl is in my maths???
should i start jumping on her desk or sumtin"


Clearly not.
Don't say "innit" to her either.

EBA: A banner coming soon.
Then maybe a game.
Seppuku Arts
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Posted: 12th Oct 2007 21:23
not any old random person, stereotype them man and see who's a likely person to be friendly and to have similar interests and you just don't randomly approach them, they need to be quiet and by your side...strange it may sound, but you really need to be in the right situation to approach people the way I just said.

And never ever say the word init (unless you're referring to programming commands) again otherwise I'll rip your throat out...sorry, but that's the way it is, the last guy that said 'init' to me wasn't in the best of shape after I had finished with him.

And yes Metallica are good, good live too, but you know, I'm not trying to start up a conversation here either...

The Rabi
Nemesis_0_
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Posted: 12th Oct 2007 21:35
Wait until you're of drinking age and hit the clubs, seriously... girlfriends before you are that age will mean nothing to you a few years later...



~*~ Life Is Temporary, Gaming Is Eternal ~*~
james hardy
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Posted: 12th Oct 2007 22:08
lol okay,i can get on with girls but i think im just mostly there friends and i dont wanna waste this time i have before i know it ill be ................
Osiris
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Posted: 12th Oct 2007 23:07
Best pickup line ever:

I wish I was a derivative so I could tangent your curves.

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Zotoaster
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Posted: 12th Oct 2007 23:15 Edited at: 12th Oct 2007 23:16
Lol, there are so many pickup lines I want to try:

"Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?"

"You look like my first wife!" "How many wifes have you had?" "None"

"Are you free tonight, or do I have to pay?"

"Do you know what would look good on you? Me."

The list goes on

"It's like floating a boat on a liquid that I don't know, but I'm quite happy to drink it if I'm thirsty enough" - Me being a good programmer but sucking at computers
MonoCoder
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Posted: 12th Oct 2007 23:19 Edited at: 13th Oct 2007 00:19
"How mu-"

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Then maybe a game.
demons breath
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Posted: 12th Oct 2007 23:26
Quote: "Wait until you're of drinking age and hit the clubs"


Not a good idea man... waiting (however long it is) without even trying for a girl won't be that good fun. And you might want to have a bit more experience with girls before you get to the random drunken sex in toilets of bars stage.

http://jamesmason01.googlepages.com/index.htm
CattleRustler
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Posted: 12th Oct 2007 23:28
james hardy you should go on that show on mtv where the turn geeks and dweebs into geeks and dweebs that have no sense of self-embarassment. I think its called Pick Up Artist or something like that. I watched it once for a bit and wondered "what in the hell is this world coming to"

My DBP plugins page is now hosted [href]here[/href]
demons breath
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Posted: 12th Oct 2007 23:29
Quote: "they turn geeks and dweebs into geeks and dweebs that have no sense of self-embarassment"


hahaha yeah I think I've heard of that one.

http://jamesmason01.googlepages.com/index.htm
bitJericho
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Posted: 12th Oct 2007 23:53
Some tips?




The greatest multiplayer text adventure ever...

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