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Geek Culture / [LOCKED] i find it impossible too ask out people

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Megaton Cat
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 00:13
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Quote: "ive asked out like 9girls on msn"


There's your problem.

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Drew Cameron
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 00:41
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Get some muscles, get some confidence, become a champ and get the babes!

Seriously, my actual tip for girls is get a champion physique and they'll start approaching you.

It's just biology speaking. Same way I'm going to take most notice of a girl with DD breasts.

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Seppuku Arts
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 00:49
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Don't you mean D&D breasts? You know, breasts of a thousand kings, Drow breasts...you know, what geeks go for...

I watched Christine today, you know the Stephen King movie about the killer car...well there's a geek in there with terrible skills at getting friends/girlfriends - this one is a real nerdy guy (kind of feel sorry for him), changes and picks up the hottest chic in the entire school...of course he become psychotically obsessed with his possessed car, but you know, the message is in there somewhere...I think...

The Rabi
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Drew Cameron
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 00:55 Edited at: 13th Oct 2007 00:55
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If anyone here is genuinely sick of being ignored by girls, or wants to know how to get them, listen up.

Get muscley. I've gotten really far, and I'm going to keep going.

NEW DREW:
- My girlfriend is always all over me, after 14 months, in a way my previous ones never were.
- I get GIVEN phone numbers by random hot girls.
- Girls go out of their way to talk to me and invite me to things.

It's pretty simple really. Girls dig strong Drew. Biology rules.

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NeX the Fairly Fast Ferret
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 01:02
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Most geeks/nerds whatever don't have the time to get muscular!


Since the other one was scaring you guys so much...
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Grandma
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 01:03
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Quote: "Seriously, my actual tip for girls is get a champion physique and they'll start approaching you."


Yeah, if you want someone shallow that only wants to be with you based on how you look. Then again, James seems young so i guess it's not important. It's probably the experimental phase.

Personally, i'd go for the ones that don't care, because then you know they like you for who you are. That goes both ways, i'm not saying it isn't a nice bonus if she's fine looking.

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Drew Cameron
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 01:09 Edited at: 13th Oct 2007 01:10
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It's not shallowness. It's biology. Girls are attracted to stronger, bigger males.

In a relationship context; wouldn't you like your partner to find you ATTRACTIVE?

Let's say I had a partner who liked my personality. She didn't find me attractive though. Is that enough?

I like my girlfriends personality, but I would dump her if she weighed 30 stone. Appearances are half the deal, and that's fact.

I'm not flaming here at all Grandma, I used to have your opinion on this topic but it changed.

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bitJericho
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 01:11
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Quote: "I like my girlfriends personality, but I would dump her if she weighed 30 stone."


I'm sure she would find that statement comforting.


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Deathead
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 01:11 Edited at: 13th Oct 2007 01:11
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Quote: "NEW DREW:
- My girlfriend is always all over me, after 14 months, in a way my previous ones never were.
- I get GIVEN phone numbers by random hot girls.
- Girls go out of their way to talk to me and invite me to things.

It's pretty simple really. Girls dig strong Drew. Biology rules.
"

Shouldn't it be if you are a nerd...
-My Girlfriend is not over me, after 14 months in the way of me going to my PC.
-I get GIVEN Msn addresses from Forum members to talk about programming.
-Girls go out of their way to diss me and invite me to nowhere.
LOL!

But I have been out with 2 girls. I've been out with one of them for about nearly 2 years... But she moved away to wales. The other one I knew since I was little but then she went on a dating spree and went out with nearly everyone in our street.

-Go onto the forums its nice! Join now!
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bitJericho
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 01:12 Edited at: 13th Oct 2007 01:14
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Quote: "-My Girlfriend is all over me, after 14 months in the way of me going to my PC."


That's like my dream girl

Quote: "-I get GIVEN Msn addresses from Forum members to talk about programming."


My dream (real) hobby

Quote: "-Girls go out of their way to diss me and invite me to nowhere."


Pshh, I don't care for other girls and have no time to go places, since I'm programming alongside my dream girl


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Zotoaster
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 01:14
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I think Drew is right. There are lots of people in the world. If you wanna date, you have to bring people in rather than expect them to randomly talk to you. Then you can start getting to know each other.

"It's like floating a boat on a liquid that I don't know, but I'm quite happy to drink it if I'm thirsty enough" - Me being a good programmer but sucking at computers
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AndrewT
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 01:15
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When I was about 6, my aunt would tell me that playing piano would get me girls when I got older. It's been about 7 years since then. Guess what. It got me nowhere with girls.

So, what's the lesson learned in all of this? Well, I'm not quite sure. But maybe I've helped in some awkward way that I don't understand.



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Drew Cameron
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 01:15
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@ Jerico2day, I'm pretty sure she would dump me if I weight 30 stone.

Real world alert.

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bitJericho
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 01:16
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Quote: "When I was about 6, my aunt would tell me that playing piano would get me girls when I got older. It's been about 7 years since then. Guess what. It got me nowhere with girls. "


If you were into the ROCK piano, you'd be getting all the chicks. And, actually, when you get older still that's when you'll get all the girls with your piano skillz.

Girls love to be serenaded


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bitJericho
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 01:17
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Quote: "@ Jerico2day, I'm pretty sure she would dump me if I weight 30 stone.

Real world alert."


I'm pretty sure that's what I would define a sh**** girlfriend. Of course, I'm sure she's great, but not what I look for in a girl. I'm a bit older too, but I'd be lookin for a girl who'd be willing to stay with me if I ended up weighing 30 stone.... however, heavy that is?


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Deathead
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 01:17
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Quote: "Real world alert."

LOL! Its true! But then again you get some fat-guy with the uber-sexy chick waiting for him to have a heart-attack for their money.

-Go onto the forums its nice! Join now!
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AndrewT
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 01:19
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From Google Calculator:

30 stone = 420 pounds

WHOA.

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bitJericho
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 01:19 Edited at: 13th Oct 2007 01:20
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(Honestly, I haven't dated any super-chubs, so I'm not gonna blow my own horn here) But I wouldn't leave a girl I loved because she turned super-chubs, I'd be telling her to go take a jog.


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Grandma
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 01:20
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@ Drew Cameron

I'm just saying it's nice to have a girlfriend who values your personality more than your looks. You can't keep looking like you do forever, but your personality won't change as much. That's fundamental for someone you want to spend the rest of your life with. If she likes you for who you are, you are most likely guaranteed a happy marriage until death. The same doesn't apply for the ones who "only" approaches you for your looks, and isn't really interested in much else.

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Drew Cameron
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 01:21 Edited at: 13th Oct 2007 01:23
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Quote: "I'm pretty sure that's what I would define a sh**** girlfriend. Of course, I'm sure she's great, but not what I look for in a girl. I'm a bit older too, but I'd be lookin for a girl who'd be willing to stay with me if I ended up weighing 30 stone.... however, heavy that is?"


Well I'm sure if you hit the big 30, and your (HYPOTHETICAL GIRLFRIEND) stuck by your side, she'd be sneaking out with the hunky gardner for a quickie behind your back. And if she wasn't, I bet she'd want to. Biology. You can't deny it.

Would you expect ANY girl to be satisfied with your new body? Of course it would lower their attraction to you!

You see what I'm getting at? I DO see what you're getting at, but my point is that if you want the fairer sex to be attracted to you, you need to BE attractive.

I think I'm straying from that point a bit though here.

Get good physique; get - AND KEEP - that girl. Biology.

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bitJericho
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 01:24
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Quote: "Well I'm sure if you hit the big 30, and you (HYPOTHETICAL GIRLFRIEND) stuck by your side, she'd be sneaking out with the hunky gardnered for a quickie behind your back."


I think I wouldn't be dating a girl who would do something like that behind my back.

What are you gonna do when she hits the big 50 and you're a face full wrinkles and flappy skin? Will she still stay with your or is she gonna find a nice young college kid


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Gil Galvanti
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 01:26 Edited at: 13th Oct 2007 01:27
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Quote: "everyone hates me why???:
and why carnt i ask sumone out ive asked out like 9girls on msn they all sed no is that why im scared of rejection.
the funny thing is that im not ugly serouisly i dont know wat but people think im a retard too."

Wow...if you ask 9 girls out THROUGH THE INTERNET in one day, and then posted about it wondering why, typing with terrible grammar and spelling, then I don't blame them for saying no and I think we've spotted the problem.


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Seppuku Arts
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 01:26
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Well you need to be relatively good looking, I mean I'd settle down with a nice plain girl than a hot chick who does nothing but party. The sort of person I'd want a relationship with, well she would see the same in my - which means I need to get back into the exercise and remove the extra pounds I gained in the part year and a half.

You don't need to be a muscle bound male, just someone girls like enough, I mean I know a guy he is weak as anything, is shallow, has a very poor personality, is a coward, yet girls are all over him...

It all depends on their taste. Naturally yes people like sexier partners, but you know people also like sweet partners, good providers, good listeners...though these days they're rare to find.

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Zotoaster
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 01:28
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Grandma, It's not for keeping girls, but they will naturally go for the best looking guy in the room.

If you were in a room, and saw two girls; One nice thin one with a tan and long legs, and one big fat one with bad hair and wobly arms, eating crisps, which would you pick?

"It's like floating a boat on a liquid that I don't know, but I'm quite happy to drink it if I'm thirsty enough" - Me being a good programmer but sucking at computers
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Benjamin
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 01:30
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Drew, you seem to assume that all girls want hunky men. This simply isn't true. Two of the guys my sister went out were completely the opposite of 'hunky', but she still really liked them.

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Grandma
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 01:31 Edited at: 13th Oct 2007 01:34
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@ Zotoaster

The fat one ofcourse.

Dear zotoaster, i'm well aware how attraction work. I was just saying it's nice with girlfriends who value you for who you are. Why do people keep missing my points? Is there some wide conspiracy here at TGC that everyone is in on?

Edit: Benjamin is speaking truth actually, my sister is a good example. I would consider her pretty if i weren't her brother, but she's with a borderline fat guy. They're almost ready for marriage. Obviously she likes him for who he is.

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Drew Cameron
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 01:31
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Quote: "I think I wouldn't be dating a girl who would do something like that behind my back. "


She might not do it. But she'll probably wish for the old you back. She won't be attracted to you anymore. She might stay with you for your personality, but that's only half the bargain left. And if there's less attraction, or no attraction, that damages the relationship. And eventually, ends it.

And besides; how do you know what they would do behind your back? You can never know that.

I'll cross the age bridge when I come to it.

My point is that attractiveness is important.

What's yours? That it doesn't matter at all?

NOT starting a flame thing here.

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Drew Cameron
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 01:33
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Quote: "Drew, you seem to assume that all girls want hunky men. "


I seem to assume that the vast majority of girls look for masculine qualities in their MALE partners.

Such as muscles and a masculine physique.

Is that unreasonable?

Zotoaster got the nail on the head here. Read his post.

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bitJericho
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 01:33
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I'd agree with your there Seppuku.


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Osiris
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 01:34 Edited at: 13th Oct 2007 01:37
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Grr double post.

Your signature has been erased by a mod because it's larger than 600x120....
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Benjamin
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 01:36
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Quote: "Such as muscles and a masculine physique."

Ahhh you've done a survey now?

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Drew Cameron
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 01:36
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But what if you can be the geek WITH the muscles?

See what I'm getting at here?

You all have great personalities. Why not compliment that with a better appearance. Then you've got the WHOLE package.

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Osiris
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The thing is though, muscularly guys are great for now. However when they have beer bellies in the future or have the IQ of a garden plant they are no longer so good. However geeky people may not be so good now and yet in the future when they are good parents because they like all the stuff their kids will like they are a good choice. So in the long run a guy who is good with kids is better than and body builder. Just my two cents.

(P.S. and experience. I have had girl friends who say they went for they body types and didn't like them after as little as two months and decided to try other types of guys and went for a geeky type guy (me) who wasn't super geeky but still acted like one. Usually if you are nice to them they will like you.)

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Benjamin
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 01:37
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Osiris stop repeating yourself.

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Osiris
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 01:38
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Lol it half loads and I think I have time to edit a little and it just keeps sending...stupid interweb.

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bitJericho
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 01:39
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Quote: "And besides; how do you know what they would do behind your back? You can never know that."


I guess you can never know for sure. I would hope that I'd know my partner well enough to tell that something is up

Quote: "I seem to assume that the vast majority of girls look for masculine qualities in their MALE partners.

Such as muscles and a masculine physique."


Of course, I've yet to find someone fall in love with porkchop capital who wasn't a fatty himself. But most people don't take it to the extreme that you are describing.


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AndrewT
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 01:40
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Well, I personally tend to like girls with great personalities rather than great looks. That's mostly because in my school, if a girl is moderately attractive then she becomes instantly popular and goes out with about 7-10 different people each week. I don't want a girl that would ever do that.

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Dr Manette
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 01:40
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Yea, I don't think getting muscles *just* to impress girls is a strong plan... I mean, that's NOT all they're looking for.

Even girls with DD boobs who's as dumb as a stick will get annoying eventually... eventually...


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bitJericho
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 01:42
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Quote: "Even girls with DD boobs who's as dumb as a stick will get annoying eventually... eventually..."


That's when you go out with her sister


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Drew Cameron
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 01:42 Edited at: 13th Oct 2007 01:44
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Quote: "Ahhh you've done a survey now?"


http://www.theregister.co.uk/2007/07/10/muscular_attraction/

Okay; here it is. Simple.

I've been weak, and now I'm strong.

My girlfriend is happier, my relationship is therefore stronger, I get far more attention and confidence is much higher.

If you believe that your personality is ALL it takes, fine.

But you need to satisfy biological needs in a partner too. That's how you tick all the boxes.

I'm not saying you need to be Arnie, I'm just saying the better shape you are in, the more attractive they'll find you.

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Benjamin
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 01:44
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Quote: "I'm not saying you need to be Arnie, I'm just saying the better shape you are in, the more attractive they'll find you."

Possibly. I do agree that if you're a regular build, you're gonna be more attractive than someone who is a very 'weak' build.

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bitJericho
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 01:45
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Quote: "confidence is much higher."


I wonder if you are not giving enough credit to your confidence. Women like a confident guy a lot more than a super muscular guy.

If you were all muscly but still doubted yourself, do you think anyone else would like you?

Yet the guy you talked about who isn't all buff, I'm sure he had a lot of confidence, would explain a lot


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Zotoaster
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 01:47
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Quote: "Women like a confident guy a lot more than a super muscular guy"


Women love a confident & muscly guy more than just a confident guy.

"It's like floating a boat on a liquid that I don't know, but I'm quite happy to drink it if I'm thirsty enough" - Me being a good programmer but sucking at computers
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Sopo the tocho
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 01:48
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In my opinion all you need its self confidence.


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Jeku
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 01:51
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Drew is right. More women like guys who have nice physical features than those who don't. Men are much worse about things they need from their women, though

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Dazzag
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 01:52 Edited at: 13th Oct 2007 01:55
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Forget MSN. Deal with real people. MSN can be real fun later. Hehehe. As can phones (put it this way, my phone bill is pretty high tonight).

Best thing is, as mentioned previously, flirt with them a bit. But don't be too over the top. ie. don't stand there drooling at their breasts while the first line you say is "Please go out with me please...". Be almost like you are flirting with them for a laugh, and not to get in their knickers (although you obviously are).

If you think you will blow it by talking to her then try acting like a normal friend around her, then flirting like hell on text immediatly after seeing her. Much much easier to say how you feel on text. Thats worked for me in the past

Also girls are amazingly insecure (even a lot of the really good looking ones). More than boys (trust me). So complement them a lot nicely. Doesn't have to be obvious, but small seemingly non-sexual things are good too. You know, like you thought she was good to stick up for the socially retarded bloke, or how you think she is great to cope with her drunken mother etc etc. It helps if you are as truthfull as possible, mainly so they can't catch you in a lie, plus because you can spin a web of lies that is easy to cock up, but if you have to lie then do it! Little small compliments over possibly a *long* amount of time (be patient!!!) make her start thinking of you as a potential boyfriend and before you know it she is wearing a nurses uniform and calling you spanky. Hehehe...

Cheers

I am 99% probably lying in bed right now... so don't blame me for crappy typing
Current fave quote : "She was like a candle in the wind.... unreliable...."
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AndrewT
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 01:52
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To be honest, guys, I would much rather spend time developing other qualities, like a great sense of humor or skill with a certain hooby, than I would working out to become muscular. If I'm fit, I'm happy. Girls like me, and I'm probably the skinniest, weakest kid you know.

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Drew Cameron
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 01:55
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@ Benjamin; Now you're on the right tracks. Now take that a step further, and get into ABOVE average shape. I'M NOT SAYING ARNIE SHAPE NECCESARILY, just hit the gym and get a bit of strength up. You're gonna be more attractive, right? By your own logic, that holds true.

@ Jerico2day; Self confidence is very important. I've never been un-confident though; but once you start getting compliments, invitations, phone numbers - of course you're going to get more confident. How would that explain a girl suddenly striking up a conversation with me on the bus for instance though? Never happened before. It's gotta be the new look.

I'm not trying to flame anyone here. Jerico2day, I agree with so much of what you have said, about finding the right person and everything. I hope you've maybe seen what I'm getting at.

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bitJericho
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 01:57
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Quote: "@ Jerico2day; Self confidence is very important. I've never been un-confident though; but once you start getting compliments, invitations, phone numbers - of course you're going to get more confident. How would that explain a girl suddenly striking up a conversation with me on the bus for instance though? Never happened before. It's gotta be the new look.

I'm not trying to flame anyone here. Jerico2day, I agree with so much of what you have said, about finding the right person and everything. I hope you've maybe seen what I'm getting at."


I totally agree with you. I'm just hoping you're not sacrificing finding an awesome person with finding a good looker


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Drew Cameron
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Joined: 30th Jan 2004
Location: Scotland
Posted: 13th Oct 2007 01:57 Edited at: 13th Oct 2007 01:59
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Quote: "If I'm fit, I'm happy. Girls like me, and I'm probably the skinniest, weakest kid you know."


How many of these girls are really thinking about the big guy who plays rugby in the your class though? Get me? These girls might like you now. Imagine if they were REALLY, attracted to you. Pure animal attraction.

You can have both. Brains and brawn. And then you're a champ. If you've got it in your head that muscle bound = stupid, you're wrong. You can have it ALL.

@ Jerico2day: I have got a girl I really like; we started off as great friends, and the great thing here is; I got together with her when I was skinny and weak, so I know her intentions are pure. However, it strengthens the whole thing now I know she is really attracted to me, you know?

The danger here, what you're getting at, is that you get objectified. In no different way than we objectify beautiful women, really, I guess?

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