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Geek Culture / [LOCKED] i find it impossible too ask out people

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Drew Cameron
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 17:09 Edited at: 13th Oct 2007 17:09
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Benjamin: yes there is always going to be better people than you.

Does that mean you shouldn't do what you can to make yourself as attractive as you can?

And maybe then your girlfriend will be more content with you.

And then she won't cheat. And you've got yourself one happy relationship.

Unfortunately, women cheat all the time for many reasons. Love or not.

All you can do is try and fullfill your partner. (If we're talking about a relationship here and not hook ups)

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james hardy
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 17:10
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ye its hard too know anything cuz i carnt really ask a girl wat makes girls like people cuz there all diffrent
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Benjamin
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 17:11 Edited at: 13th Oct 2007 17:11
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Quote: "Does that mean you shouldn't do what you can to make yourself as attractive as you can?"

No, in my opinion being attractive enough is fine. You don't have to be the most attractive. Only the shallow girls will go off with someone else based purely on their looks.

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Drew Cameron
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 17:14 Edited at: 13th Oct 2007 17:15
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And attractive enough means not being a scrawny wimp to me.

So I think you agree with me. It's just that you have a lower idea of attractive enough.

And my point is that if you go that liiitle bit further. And be more than attractive enough, and be above average; you're a real keeper.

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Benjamin
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 17:16
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Quote: "And attractive enough means not being a scrawny wimp to me."

It all depends on what the girl finds attractive, but yes it's better not to be a scrawny wimp.

Quote: "It's just that you have a lower idea of attractive enough."

I beg your pardon?

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james hardy
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 17:17 Edited at: 13th Oct 2007 17:19
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well everyones diffrent so may be if your like bodybuilding big
a girl may not like you becouse your not her type and i dont think you can change that,
so that makes me doomed as im noones type may it semm that way


lol all her mates no i like her and there demanding i ask her out
why tho???
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Drew Cameron
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 17:18 Edited at: 13th Oct 2007 17:19
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It means that my idea of what consitutes attractive "enough" is higher than yours.

Because I don't think the average male physique is enough. You've got to train it a bit at least. Most men are fat or weak as hell.

I don't see why you've been disagreeing with me, you've basically validated my point.

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Benjamin
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 17:20 Edited at: 13th Oct 2007 17:22
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Quote: "Because I don't think the average male physique is enough."

I'm not sure what the average is, so I'm not really sure how you can say my idea of what constitutes attractive enough is lower than yours.

Quote: "I don't see why you've been disagreeing with me, you've basically validated my point."

I guess, we just have different ideas of the average man.

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Drew Cameron
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 17:23 Edited at: 13th Oct 2007 17:23
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My idea of attractive enough is being muscular.

What's yours?

I agree with your statement.

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tha_rami
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 17:23 Edited at: 13th Oct 2007 17:24
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Quote: "Benjamin: yes there is always going to be better people than you.
Does that mean you shouldn't do what you can to make yourself as attractive as you can?
And maybe then your girlfriend will be more content with you.
And then she won't cheat. And you've got yourself one happy relationship.
Unfortunately, women cheat all the time for many reasons. Love or not.
All you can do is try and fullfill your partner. (If we're talking about a relationship here and not hook ups)"

A happy relationship because she didn't cheat because you work out? Whoa, weird happy relation that is. What if she comes along someone ever better looking?

Maybe your girlfriend will be happier if you spend the time working out with her. Or... she would be happier if you completed college. Or...

Some girls like looks, others dig brains, others dig attention and God knows what people see in eachother, yet in the end it's all about the complete impression of a person, and mostly about if the other is caring and loving. Looks really are a minor part of a total impression if you know eachother for a while.

The point is that if you don't have the looks for a good first impression, you'll need the brains. If you have both, well, awesome. You just don't nééd them.

Quote: "It's just that you have a lower idea of attractive enough.
"

Hah, and what does that matter, our idea of attractive enough? It's about the girls.

Quote: "My idea of attractive enough is being muscular."

Mine is being caring and friendly.


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Drew Cameron
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 17:25
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Bah!

Would your girlfriend be MORE or LESS physically pleased you if you went to the gym and bulked up - NOT alot. Just a bit?

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Zotoaster
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 17:25
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Quote: "The point is that if you don't have the looks for a good first impression, you'll need the brains"


I'd like to say again that you can't see brains at first glances.

I can't believe how many people are saying that girls dont care for looks

"It's like floating a boat on a liquid that I don't know, but I'm quite happy to drink it if I'm thirsty enough" - Me being a good programmer but sucking at computers
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james hardy
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 17:26
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caring and friendly and looks doesnt get me any were
thats wat loses me in this twisted cruel "love" thing
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tha_rami
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 17:28 Edited at: 13th Oct 2007 17:31
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Quote: "Would your girlfriend be MORE or LESS physically pleased you if you went to the gym and bulked up - NOT alot. Just a bit?"

Why would that matter? As long she's pleased with who I am it's alright, is it? She loves me for what I am now. Why would I need to be stronger, more muscular? She loves me for my person, and that's part of what I appreciate in her personality. All you need to do is find the part of her that likes whatever small pro that is in you, and focus on that. That'll get you anywhere with any girl.

Of course, if you have no pro at all, you're doomed.

Quote: "I'd like to say again that you can't see brains at first glances.

I can't believe how many people are saying that girls dont care for looks "

No, you can hear them at first conversation.

I like to point out that I never said they don't care for looks, I said they care far less than everyone here seems to think.


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Benjamin
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 17:29
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Quote: "Would your girlfriend be MORE or LESS physically pleased you if you went to the gym and bulked up - NOT alot. Just a bit?"

I'd imagine so.

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Drew Cameron
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 17:33 Edited at: 13th Oct 2007 17:35
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Quote: "Why would that matter?"


I don't actually know what to say to that.

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james hardy
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 17:34
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oh poo......................

just found out that the girl knows i like her

and of course girls wont looks
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Drew Cameron
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 17:36
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Quote: "She loves me for what I am now. Why would I need to be stronger, more muscular?"


So she will find your more attractive, strengthening your love? I know you're waiting until marriage and I respect that. In the mean time, it forms a closer relationship if you're both attracted to each other.

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tha_rami
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 17:40 Edited at: 13th Oct 2007 17:41
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Quote: "I don't actually know what to say to that."

She'd be far more pleased to see me focus on the things I like, being creative, learning, ect. than see me spending even a single minute in a gym working out (which I don't like).

Quote: "So she will find your more attractive, strengthening your love? I know you're waiting until marriage and I respect that. In the mean time, it forms a closer relationship if you're both attracted to each other."

We are attracted to each other. A lot. Even though I look like hell if you ask me. Attraction has nothing to do with love. Love is above attraction. Above looks.

Girls just seem not to care how I look (I failed full young Xeno's post) as long as I'm nice, sweet and caring to them...


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Drew Cameron
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 17:44 Edited at: 13th Oct 2007 17:45
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"To be actually in love with someone you have to like their personality AND be attracted to them. Because without attraction, what is sex, and without sex, what is a relationship? Friendship. I.e. platonic love."

(NOT neccesarily sex, but like cuddling or kissing or whatever)

I quoted this from a friend. ^^ (Who is a girl)

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tha_rami
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 17:50 Edited at: 13th Oct 2007 17:53
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Quote: ""To be actually in love with someone you have to like their personality AND be attracted to them. Because without attraction, what is sex, and without sex, what is a relationship? Friendship. I.e. platonic love.""

Yes, but who decides what is attractive? There is no Canon for attractive at all, there are no set rules. You've seen for yourself when discussing with Benjamin that 'attractive enough' can be two totally different things for two different persons.

Try asking her with love is without "personality". If she's anywhere near the girls of the Netherlands, she'll say that's even less than platonic love. Not even friendship. It's hate.


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demons breath
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 17:52
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Quote: "just found out that the girl knows i like her"


then just go for it man, you've got nothing to lose.

http://jamesmason01.googlepages.com/index.htm
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tha_rami
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 17:52
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Quote: "then just go for it man, you've got nothing to lose."

Fully agreed.


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james hardy
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 17:53
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ye if i put it off,shell probly think im scared or sumthing and wont wanna go out with me

wat should i say when asking them out???
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tha_rami
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 17:54
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Quote: "wat should i say when asking them out???"

What would you say?


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Grandma
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 17:55 Edited at: 13th Oct 2007 17:56
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Being physically attractive is a plus ofcourse, i think nobody would deny that. But most seem to value personality higher, aka "Inner beauty". Nothing wrong with that, infact, that's great. If you believe personality < physical, than hurray for you. People have different views on things, and we should accept that.

Quote: "Most men are fat or weak as hell."


You must live in a sloppy neighbourhood.

This message was brought to you by Grandma industries. Making yesterdays games, today!

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james hardy
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 17:56 Edited at: 13th Oct 2007 17:58
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i would say like


"hi you are real nice girl wanna go out sum time"

sumthin like that


and if they sed no i would run off crying like a baby
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Drew Cameron
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 17:58
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Quote: "There is no Canon for attractive at all, there are no set rules."


Consider we are talking about body type here. Not facial features or anything else.

Yes, there ARE set rules. Here are the usual ones, which I have quoted from a girl:

- Height, average or above.
- Slim, no belly.
- Good shoulders and arms.
- "The necessary strength to pick you up and throw you to the bed, or pin you against the wall."

(Look up sexual attraction on wikipedia, it reiterates much of this)

And the way to get this kind of body? The gym usually.

Science wins.

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bitJericho
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 17:59
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Quote: "wat should i say when asking them out???"


Are you free tonight or will it cost me?

Do you know what'd look good on you? Me.

I'm an organ donor, need anything?


The greatest multiplayer text adventure ever...
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james hardy
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 18:01
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i could say that,even tho im still at scool lol
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bitJericho
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 18:01
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... On second thought, you probably shouldn't say that


The greatest multiplayer text adventure ever...
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demons breath
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 18:03
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Quote: "wat should i say when asking them out???"

just start talking and then ask whether they're free some time at the weekend or something. Meeting up with them outside of school is a better step than just saying "hey do you wanna go out with me" straight away without really talking to them that much.

http://jamesmason01.googlepages.com/index.htm
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tha_rami
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 18:05
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Quote: "- Height, average or above.
- Slim, no belly.
- Good shoulders and arms.
- "The necessary strength to pick you up and throw you to the bed, or pin you against the wall."

(Look up sexual attraction on wikipedia, it reiterates much of this)
"


The strength is really nonsense, honestly.
All of those won't matter if the other got beautiful eyes. Or is such a cute guy. Or so friendly. Or so funny. They cán help, but in the end, if you look good and the personalities don't fit, you won't get anywhere. In contrary to the opposite, if you look bad but the personalities fit, you can get a long, long way.

I'm getting the feeling that your 'science' is too local to win. Benjamin said it before, and I'm starting to believe him more and more, what we're discussing is a cultural difference.

In my country, everyone is above-average in term of length (worldwide longest people) and the small boys seem to get most of the girls. Your wikipedia science seems to contradict the behaviour of nearly ever Dutch girl.


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tha_rami
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 18:07 Edited at: 13th Oct 2007 18:10
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Quote: "Are you free tonight or will it cost me?

Do you know what'd look good on you? Me.

I'm an organ donor, need anything?"


You stink, shall we take a shower?

Or...

If you think you can hit on me, you're right!
How does it feel to be the prettiest lady in this room?
Your knee itches me.
You have 10 cents? I want to call your parents to thank them.


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Drew Cameron
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 18:09
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I wish you the best of luck with your partner tha_rami,

I've made my points and hogged the thread enough.

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tha_rami
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 18:11
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Quote: "I wish you the best of luck with your partner tha_rami,

I've made my points and hogged the thread enough."

Thanks Drew, I enjoyed the discussion. Although I still have quite some points left, I'll refrain from posting them unless necessary .

Best of luck with your partner as well .


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demons breath
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 18:15
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man tha_rami, PLEASE tell me you never use those. some of them might be worth trying lol

http://jamesmason01.googlepages.com/index.htm
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Drew Cameron
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 18:15
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Please feel free to make your points! I'll hear them out! I won't keep reiterating my stance though cause I'm kind of repeating myself too much

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tha_rami
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 18:18
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Quote: "man tha_rami, PLEASE tell me you never use those. some of them might be worth trying lol"


Haha, they're well known jokes here. I know some more, if you want them


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demons breath
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 18:19
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ooh go for it

I might need some next time I go out on the pull

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tha_rami
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 18:19
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Quote: "Please feel free to make your points! I'll hear them out! I won't keep reiterating my stance though cause I'm kind of repeating myself too much"


Lets start with that I asked you to ask your female friend to explain what a relation without personality is . As you said, we've been hogging this thread too much - you got MSN/ICQ/Yahoo?


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james hardy
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 18:21
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i have msn if any one wonts too talk on that

dreadfull@hotmail.co.uk
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tha_rami
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 18:25 Edited at: 13th Oct 2007 18:25
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Some might be considered inappropriate:



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demons breath
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 18:27
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The 4th, 6th, 7th and 8th are awesome!

Wonder what'd happen if I said the 8th to a girl in a club... Might be worth a try...

http://jamesmason01.googlepages.com/index.htm
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Drew Cameron
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 18:32
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Just to answer tha_raimi's last question;

Quote: "what a relation without personality is"


(May be inappropriate)



There you go! Honest answer I guess. Lol.

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james hardy
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 18:33
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lol
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tha_rami
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 18:38 Edited at: 13th Oct 2007 18:40
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Quote: "
(might be inappropriate)"

That's not what I mean. She's confusing love and the other meaning of 'loving'. Actually it kinda proves my point. Without personality theres nothing even reminiscent of friendship or relation.

Not you too, Drew! It's tha_rami! Please.


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Drew Cameron
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 18:43
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MSN is at bottom of my post

Sorry for typo

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tha_rami
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 18:45
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Added.


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james hardy
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Posted: 13th Oct 2007 18:48
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added you too
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